welcome to New York

I go down the subway a rat runs by,how cliche' the musty smell mixed with pine pitch from the ties , the rat would have been wise to move to the countryside where there would have been a better chance to survive.Yet he stays, to him its the maze of the subway that presents a challenge for him to find his way.Check out this tunnel and that,make a turn this curios rat.Here comes a train it does not try to avoid him,it appears quite insane.But this is life in the tunnels,steel wheel sparks, screeching screams mechanical noises dim headlight beams,blue flashes,electric third rail,my old New York buddy called it the iron snail.taking the "A" train to a scary place ,three days, I was gone.To many two legged rats, I was to white to be wrong on the wrong train on the wrong tracks on the wrong side in the wrong city, the newspaper lied, as much as I tried to fit in,it was a pity,I could not hide this silly white boy grin.Fed up with the fear and the punks and their guns ridin that train weren't no fun...

another day

So you caught a flight and you flew away left me here to party today,so long good luck give me a call if you really get stuck.Should have, could have at least called me let me know you arrived I know its silly to let me know your alive.A text here and a text there hows the dirty weather as if I care.All is well well thats just swell text me good news that I can share.Sounds good be careful au revoir, take care.

different day

More days and days I'm running some errands for you I must be bored.Limited conversations .I think but don't worry, but do wonder,no hurry.A few more chores I'll do you for,then its over.mission complete, do and repeat,never give up never retreat.It takes amazing strength and endurance to be this weak.I think an extreme and enlightening time you obviously had .I am simply convinced .We have had such little communication still ,and I haven't seen you since, that silly day just prior to you flying away.Day by day week by week as in the past I get a gradual peek, but only a peek into the missing mission that lasted so many weeks.The info you know you just let bleed so slow to me,till of course eventually I'm covered in your words,new realities and truths,tide won't get this out I'm amused enthused enraged then turn the page but never turn away.Forever here to stay like a great stone growing more brittle with age,forever sitting, set in my ways.Never sharing expression never showing pain.But remember we did share one silly fun day...

almost

I checked on line and found the info, you felt you desperately needed to know,Now you had to decide if you could afford to or really needed to go.I went to your house to help you catch a flight of course you were not ready you drank all night now you were slowed down I could not help you really, so we sorta just drove around it was no longer early.We took bets had no regrets and shared cigarettes.I bet you would not make it I won.So i took you home you stayed on the phone we went to the bank I thought it was a prank you needed money I thought it too funny no flight today maybe in two days off to L.A. still it was a funny day we gave it a shot ,then I simply drove away, ready we were not...

welcome

I go down the subway a rat runs by,how cliche' the musty smell mixed with pine pitch from the ties , the rat would have been wise to move to the countryside where there would have been a chance to survive.Yet he stays, to him its the maze of the subway that presents a challenge for him to find his way.Check out this tunnel and that,make a turn this curios rat.Here comes a train it does not try to avoid him,it appears quite insane.But this is life in the tunnels, metal sparks screeching screams mechanical noises dim headlight beams,blue sparks ,electric third rail,my old New York buddy called it the iron snail.Thee A train to a scary place ,three days, I was gone.To many two legged rats, I was to white to be wrong on the wrong train on the wrong tracks on the wrong side in the wrong city the newspaper lied, as much as I tried to fit in it was a pity I could not hide this silly white boy grin.Fed up with the fear and the punks and their guns ridin that train weren't no fun...

some day

It was a silly day ,it started early when you called me to ask me questions I could not answer.But that was just the prelude to draw me in,and draw me in it did.Now I was out of bed,and last nights alcohol still messin with my head Wasn't quite sure if I was sleeping, dreaming or half dead.Wait let me make some calls I'll get back to you when...

kinky killer

Spiders, amazing interesting devastating death may be slow but the job will get done,the bite the poison, asphyxiation , parallelization rotting flesh certain death tied up molested little struggle total domination never an escape,never a happy ending...

Sally and Sammy squirrel lived high above the world.They lived in their house made out of dead leaves that they picked from the tops of giant oak trees

Freddy the fearless firefly flicked his light as he flew on by,I think he just wanted to say hi!

I would have no fear,if perhaps I purchased a pair of purple panda bears with their soft fluffy and puffy purple hair.I could hug them and hold them that would be so nice,and if I wanted too I could hug them twice.And if my tummy hurt I could make it end just by hugging and holding my fluffy and puffy purple panda friends.

Italian bug philosophy

Once a little brown butterfly asked Vito the mosquito,why can we fly and Vito mosquito replied,because we have wings.There are wings on all flying things,like airplanes and bees that sting and even birds that sing.Just then Billy the baseball landed nearby then rolled up to Mr. Brown butterfly and looked him square in the eye and said I have no wings but sometimes I fly,and my friend Frieda the Frisbee,she can fly really high,so what does he know,he's just a mosquito...

it does happen

I feel like a giant and the world is Lilliputian to me, all it took was a recipe of three,Guinness some rain a perfect workday amazing music and my insecurities

seen

Lovers strolling along hand in hand,laughing so silly as only they can,staggering lazily in the soft white sand,telling little jokes only they understand,as innocent as children thou she a woman and hes a man.They're in love...

80's foster child

Kosila Kumari she don't drive Ferrari she don't play Atari but she a happy little girl,Its hard to believe and easy to deceive she lives in the same different world .Shes different than we thats easy to see her mind isn't cluttered with the lust of luxury.She has her fun when her chores are done and learning good new things in school.She has real dreams ,and she is the way she seems cause she's no monies fool.Shes a happy little girl on me she can depend,for my love I will send cause she's my precious little friend living half way around the world...

Perception

This to me says there is only a beginning all exciting and a bitter end.It didn't tell you about the midday sun and how it may get so hot you might need a little shade.But you may have to search for shade.It may feel good for awhile and thats good.But then it may get a little bit cold.Just remember outside the sun is still there,bright warm and beautiful.So if you want you can come out of the shade and enjoy more of the warmth and the rest of the day.But if you wait too long in the shade,the sun may set,and when you come out of the shade you will find only darkness and it will be much colder than before,and what a terrible loss it will be to only have enjoyed the morning of such a beautiful day.

whoa

I remember possibly a Saturday around the end of February, Maybe overcast but bright.Wet streets ,sand left over from snow, winter is not over but it has grown weary.I am about twelve years old.I'm wearing boots green rubber water proof as hell but not exactly Rockport walking shoes.I went into a fish store where they sold pet fish. I remember they had beautiful yellow tropical fish in a salt water aquarium.I think they cost like seventy five dollars back then that would be about 1.6 million dollars now.But I remember how much I wanted them and how cool and beautiful they were.I would visit them several times before spring came and helped me to forget them.Such a feeling of desire and euphoria they gave me even now so many years later though I don't want them any longer and the feeling and the innocent ability to have such feelings is long gone its somewhat of a vivid memory I have lost the feelings but have retained the appreciation of them...just another fish story...

slime rhymes

Cedric the slug was an unhappy thug because he was too slimy to give him a hug,and he wasn't pretty like Missy the prissy ladybug. Surely sincere Cedric was seemingly sad.He longed for friends he never had.He seriously pursued friendship in the morning dew.He slimed along humming to himself a simple sad song.I feel so sad cause I'm not so bad.I feel like I'm the only friend I've ever had.Poor Cedric.Suddenly he sought a shape that he thought was a snail slug like himself,but it was just a rock,partially covered by a sock.The seldom seen snail slug dilly dallied across the dew on the early morning lawn,just an hour or so before the crack of dawn.Cedric left his trail then sadly slowly he was gone.

the

A spirit so free at least thats how it seems to me seemingly strong determined intellectual eccentric well versed, rehearsed in most every situation a unique relation to a variety of diversified human classifications but a simple awareness of this simple sub par aberition sharing this realistic situation

f5 goodbye

Quickly sped away, this is ridiculous ,I can still feel the rage,I am tired I need a rest,perhaps be arrested.I am paranoid cause I don't know how much time is left.I speed up ,then I slow down, driving in the darkness I feel no feeling of success ,all those victorious feelings are now repressed, still I motor along contemplating extreme accelerating,I start hyperventilating,I feel exhilarated hopelessly frustrated still I accelerate faster and faster, a faint light up ahead. I'm aware I'm headed for eminent disaster.Outlines on the horizon ,in the darkness I could barely make out several cars across the road.Police I assume,theres little time and even less room,for me, the cars, and a tree. Still I accelerate and they wait to see, if I ,the psycho,am really that crazy.Such fools the verdict is in, I have chosen my destiny ,I display a satisfied grin.The crash must have been terrific,horrific prolific, metal and glass,combustible gas spewing fire,flames growing higher.The journey is done. I'm done with the run,a helluva run, and lastly the death of a despondent lonely sick twisted neglected abandoned forgotten son...

Sorry

Apology does not need to be sincere it merely suggests though we are jerks or not sometimes, we are at least civilized.

f4

Didn't ask for a wake up call didn't seem necessary,though surely they would come,they did not, I moved on.Went to a bar had me some beer ,considered my next move then staggered away from there,guess what I was seen by some cop just passing by,he then pulled me over and asked me why I would drink and drive I just smiled and reached for my gun,winked one eye and pulled the trigger he went for his gun but my gun was bigger.

f3

Another deal done sealed and on the run now I'm a silhouette in the setting sun five forty five then I'm done,I approach then arrive, I look good, I feel worse I can no longer outrun this constant curse . I seldom watch the tv It really does not suit me but this one time just by coincidence I caught a story It was morning now and the police had a lead then I got paranoid they drew a bead a bead on me. I guess I was lucky I fled Another hour surely I'd be dead.But now there is fear never before had I cared I feel the journey may end here.I rent a room I still have concerns the clerk says nothing important I go to my room,I'll get some rest they'll be coming soon...

wrong

What if my life is better than your life? What if my strife is less than your strife ,and i was aware that all for me is a delight,and for you nothing does go right would you hate me ?Would you want to degrade me upset me slay me put a hex on me reject me,deflect all that is misfortune ate at me.Good cause it is and you are and tough shit you deserve it,get over it,your a misfit so get a grip and deal with it.I have to admit I had nothing to do with it,yet one day I may start to slip and you may rise and and we will both be surprised then I'll be less despised,and I'll need the alibis then you'll play the wise and I will get a rest from the responsibilities of being the best then you'll learn life is not black and white or greener with envy how useless was your jealousy,the time you wasted hating me when you could have been doing something better...

fugitive 2

So its been six months the memory is faded to a comfortable level I owe the fade in pain to the comfort of the devil I built an altar to honor its name, true forgiveness it offers to me no punishment no regret just throw it away then forever forget,probably not perfect but its the best deal yet,still I'm uneasy time to move along load up the new bike then I'm gone leave the altar leave the pain and the shame all the evil thoughts I kept in its name.Five hundred forty five miles in any direction find a new town make some new connections then settle back down,but I gotta kill one time before i go cause I got a need for a reason to leave and something for later that I can later grieve.I give no details I tell no tales just that they tried to make it out,they failed.Now without hesitation I add acceleration to my departure to another great part of this great nation.

opened up so many porn windows that I finally got to one that i think was the pope on a web cam jerking off

Fugitive

Suddenly I realized I was about to be institutionalized so I tried to not look surprised as I quickly reached for my gun.One quick shot and I was no longer caught and shortly I was on the run.It was the 57 not the 54 that I needed before when I defended myself against that line cutting whore who up and down swore that I owed her money but I can't remember what the hell for.And there they were just dead on the floor,now my journey has begun.My first move that I usually use is to slowly drive away.I'll drive a long while to myself I will smile cause running away is always some fun. Twenty hours later I felt I was safe now I could get a job here then just wait. It was to close this time its more difficult to fool them all with those forensics and other crazy tricks I guess I'll just hang here,out in the sticks and find a simpler game to get my kicks.I'm not sure if I want to kill any more and I'm not really sure why the killing started before.Am I a myth or a legend I forget where it begins or if I have any friends or if this is where it ends again I'm not really sure.

hello

Your always there lurking in the shadows off on the side line I guess just doing your thing recreating the world or at least some little part of it. For a short time I did not see you I could not feel that slight aura that seems to surround you but now your back again excuse me did not mean to bother you I'll be just sitting over here if you need me

tv

Read

I read you, I see you, I want you, I need you, I feed you and you feed me
I crave you, I brave you, I follow you, I have to, I stay you and you stay me
One way, one day, await the replay, if you must, go away don’t be afraid
From me to you, do what it is you have to, sink to follow, think to respond,
I read you abstract, hollow, full and in time mine,maybe for now,tomorrow or beyond .You've touched me physically,spiritually,mentally, you continue to touch me with your words your hints your innuendos and the crescendos that ever grow in my mind that I hear loudly now and when I read between the the lines ,thats my favorite part ,I can manipulate the meanings to all be so sweet in my heart ,all about me when it is you that I read.My mind is dirt ,your words are seed ,soon grows abundant food on which my feelings may feed the words flow through my veins, cut me and stories I bleed I read you,and me you too read.......

I chant your name I sing your name I say your name I love your name,it excites me it amuses me it frightens me it soothes me I chant your name I use it as a refrain say it in vane it starts early in the morning it continues all day it slows only momentary in the evening then I hum it when I'm sleeping some how it always creeps in then it starts all over again in the mornin I chant your name ,its an endless game it always varies yet remains the same,I chant your name...

DATE SEPTEMBER EIGHT

T

Some smile,what a smile ,happy devious curios such teethe what a grin, what trouble have you seen what trouble have you been in?Every time I see you I see that grin again,either theres been , you've been in, or trouble is about to begin.Definitely all of the above,and somehow you look surprised. I see it in those eyes, they seen trouble and how.And if they ain't seen it before they're seeing it now.Cause I'm trouble,if you only had small troubles then your troubles just doubled,I aim to please I ain't no sleaze, but it maybe me I'm aiming to please and it ain't gonna be easy for me to please me,without a little help from you,so don't sweat it,cause I think you know what to do,you won't regret it even if you think it one time through.Cause I'm trouble see,and trouble usually starts with me.And now I see you and you see me,and it all started when you pulled me in with that

T

Some smile,what a smile ,happy devious curios such teethe what a grin, what trouble have you seen what trouble have you been in?Every time I see you I see that grin again,either theres been , you've been in, or trouble is about to begin.Definitely a little of both and somehow you look surprised. I see it in those eyes, they seen trouble and how.And if they ain't seen it before they're seeing it now.Cause I'm trouble,if you only had small troubles then your troubles just doubled,I aim to please I ain't no sleaze, but it maybe me I'm aiming to please and it ain't gonna be easy for me to please me,without a little help from you,don't sweat it cause I think you know what to do,you won't regret it even if you think it one time through.Cause I'm trouble see,and trouble usually starts with me.And now I see you and you see me,and it all started when you pulled me in with that endless awesome grin...

Oh

Ever been stuck in the mudd,I mean really stuck the quicker you try to get out the longer it takes. Panic resistance, newtons laws kicking your ass too.Finally calm slow steady movements then then pop your out no prob,think if I stick my foot back in I can get right back out again thinking I know how now so I do ,and I can't and now add pissed to the heroic effort learned almost nothing feeling stupid finally it takes even longer then pop, still confusion how many more times will I try Well I'm on my fifth time Its fun ,I'm exausted and ain't learned a friggin thing hahaha.

Lover

I cut my spaghetti with a machete in the ghetto I liked it with oregano I shared it with a widow I used to know then finally she told me where to go to get some hard garlic rolls ,ha gotcha ,her name was Rapunzel she was great fun so I continued to see her, she only had one fear that she may move out of there and live in the boondocks where they didn't need door locks and there were no city blocks where she could take her silly walks to go buy her spaghetti so she could have it ready when her baby came by......

straight polar

One side of my brain doesn't play well with the other

yes

LOve is love,love is free

I was obsessed I didn't notice I had enough passion for the both of us,I never notice how you'd fuss.......I cut my spaghetti with a machete in the ghetto I liked it with oregano I shared it with a widow I used to know then finally she told me where to go to get some hard garlic rolls

Thnx

Standing by ready to go get the feeling somethings gonna happen maybe I already know waiting get the inkling of a sensation I feel some strange phenomenon has just completed its gestation soon to be born now newly known some extreme change in reality some unwelcome event with no known hospitality I'm sure I feel it then suddenly with all the fanfare and fury out of nowhere pow wow bang absolutely nothing didn't even spill a glass of water squat,Relief is such a disappointment be thankful for your boredom...

oh well

Thats funny I thought I knew everything I guess I was wrong what will I do now how will I adapt survive deal with all this crap it used to be so easy for me now I just like all the rest no more answers to so many simple questions that now fester in my head am I welcome do I now belong with the lost lonely and confused can I win when I'm sure I should lose here I am I'm here to stay need I say this is the last the best the only way

Your smile thats so permanent could start a war the strength of a secret hair maybe you have heard it before.but your so young maybe not,its all true no matter what you do your the cause and the reason that smile never out of season maybe another reason that keeps me believing that this is what I'm living for

compete complete

These inbred weaknesses divulge your insecurities obscurities obscenities which were bred originally for durability which I'm sure wholeheartedly was reportedly obliged to share with me beat that bitches...

oz

I am like OZ just a little old man behind a curtain,a curtain of bullshit

Myself

I feel your presence I create it in my mind i seldom need to search for you your spirit is easy to find when i am lonely and need a friend it seems always thats when its easiest to feel you back again you come on no uncertain terms there is never any disagreement not yet a disappointment quickly you are there you seem to always care for me an what I'm doing you keep me from ruin you help me I can't thank you enough even though your just in my mind your always there for me and I too am always there for you...

It started as a game wishful thinking it ended just the same wishful thinking