winter

Sweet summer corn standing in a field the air is still the dust is settled it is quite warm the bugs make their way to the silk spilling out the top of the stock rows of energy and activity unseen at a glance water and sun ,the most powerful forces we know the summer corn able to tame  and harness this unexplainable energy as it grows, patiently waiting for harvest to re release that energy into human form the untamed power of summer corn...

Have you got the winter blues yet one of the early clues is early regret that you left your warm shoes out on the back step you stubbed your toe but you didnt know till it warmed up the next day,when you woke up you forgot to get up you rolled over still under the covers you thought you knew you could depend on the others to shoulder the load till you got your bearings straight and got out on the road...

As I take my last breath,I will leave this mess ,this troubled world this hurried life but it was fun and beautiful to have lived so long makes me one of the fortunate ones as I struggle to find the corridor of light no need to explain my mortal weakness to make things right all gone move on all right

I am merely a witness to this altercation which occurs most everyday i just look away i do not wish to participate I can not stand that I do not understand the reason if there is one why they choose anger in place of fun it will repeat tomorrow the stress angst and yes  sorrow that leaves these fools hollow bored with their choice raising their voice only to be ignored shamed and stored in the prison like world that is their life...

Can't

 Thou the children have all grown tall you know for sure that its not all and theres a little more you want to do in your life a few wrongs left your pretty sure you can still make right theres no real hurry no need to worry the few regrets are usually about time and you know you can't go back not in a ship not in a car not on a camels back time is not distance its right here and still its too far to reach ever even if you had one wish that star is closer to the past than you are,you can't go back...

You don't know insane your too young your only waiting for such pain you haven't anything to lose only everything to gain,this moment is  the product,no future, no past, present without intent to share anymore than just what I'm saying keep the faith tell it straight,keep on praying

I was tangled up too bobby you and me both we are haunted by similar ghosts but always we made the most of the present we had heading into the future sharing the past the blues they never last so share the vision before its past when it comes ,it will soon be blurred when the blues are done tangled up in blue...

rock

You are beautiful to me I think you will agree I would never deny you anything I could share with you I may stagger but I would never run to or from whatever you would consider necessary  or fun it was the beginning where we had begun this interaction of confusion I started off thinking I would be just using you ha but I was wrong and this situation goes on but not for too long I thought by now I would be long gone but alas I was again as I often am wrong now another song thought there might be one but its now a hundred that I've sung not too often to you,so many years not too many years I never thought there would be no fears so much life so few cares,I am simply delighted sometimes still excited by new views of old thoughts sometimes even of you,

Ode to you

 You say I'm a dick I'm ignorant I don't do tricks don't need forgiveness excuse me but I'm not,I can't follow your crowd they talk to loud and they hurt my ears and they give me fears that I can't share so they're unaware of my instabilities they may learn gradually but I wont hold my breath just the same cause I'm not insane,well not just yet, anyway,sorry I just paid my rent your not tolerant sounds like a personal problem to me,apparently things to me are not always relative to those such as yourself makes me less important to you I have given up on getting through so little time obviously too much to do,not much time for everything else...   

I'm rolling like thunder down the freeway make sure you make way got my second or third wind more passion then when i begin to understand got the upper hand got poise and direction this is my final collection of thoughts and ideas no need more fear got the  wind at my back and my posse bringing up the rear make way 

oing5o34npunko3f [o f w'f okrf

Hey! I like that you tell everyone else you're coming back but me...know what I say to that. "Fuck you"

Waiting for thee, I told you so,I smoked to long ,I drank too much it all was so wrong I'm really not that tough,It was cool I'll give you that still such a fool and now the slap that is the truth I floundered my youth on the goodness of juice then set all the demons loose on the world of the day,maybe I was never strong just somehow got along I could forever go on telling blissful tales how I woke up in jails then begging for bail never planning to fail but failing anyway then riding the rail when they were hot on my trail and somehow living on to see another day,and yet now,somehow I'm suddenly scared away...

It seems I'm fit for just a bit then I hit it a bit of rage I just act my age its fifty years of struggle and turmoil my face could be a gargoyle that would frighten demons into believing anything and everything that this mean old son of a bitch could bring ,so speak your piece then summon the police to bear witness to what I'm about to release in this case up in the face of whatever it is that dictates this place it is a fact that I am the saving grace and the balancing act that kept you out of the early grave you asked me to give so I gladly gave we were so naive it all was all the rage to be thoughtless and free placed all of our burdens on the expanding universe and let the heavens just be and in return they asked nothing of me...

times too

Always time to move on just seems to happen a part of this life a part of my world so many people all different so similar emotions struggle some pain seldom satisfied some days just want to hide bury the cares inside and save them for a better time,or at least another day,only a few missed opportunities didn't completely ruin me hopeful for a few more will catch one,one time ,well I'm fairly sure,ha I hope so...

great opportunities in life are likened to middle aged sex,usually a one shot deal... 

"I thought you had my heart, but you didn’t seem to care. Now I’m finding my own way, and you’re slowly fading away"like an ink blot you saw what you wanted very little soap and I faded away,it always comes out in the wash you had a choice of which swatch you wanted you chose another,another color another lover another line,you choice is made your last season to me you walked away you took a little piece of me,now thats all you'll see,theres a new season in my  journey,theres no reason for you to return to me retro I say no...

Its ok to be jealous envious it seems there are always better dreams then the reality in which we actually believe we are all proud of ourselves in certain little ways we alone know all the little talents we posses but we lack the talent to share its ok as long as we and we alone are aware have a nice day

question

When we meet will you freak when you become aware I'm not a figment of your imagination not just a just an exercise in exaggeration of twisted tales  of successful fails riding the rails that lead me to bale on the simple things that tug on the strings of ones heart,move over sad friend let through some complete idiocy let go for a moment trip through a window into a field of feelings with stinky white flowers sensible shoes and blurry lost hours zero expectations for a lemon face sours like vinegar from an oak barrel,feel the power then let it go let it grow set it free watch it fly rising above all the lies that made you cries came disguised as a rare gift that gave your spirit a lift to such a great height which increased the pain upon the impact when you all came back to the ground ?

all

I have put away my fears temporarily,hopefully for a long while ,of course they must again reappear you keep things in check to keep me aware of the dangers of the earth that keep you in their sights 

When I was young,I was strong,life has enriched me theres nothing gone but time gone by,I still long for the simple most difficult things,obvious yet not always within my grasp,can't always see the stars just beyond the horizon just beyond my imagination,yet only moments away patience and endurance willingness and sheer luck,display the revelations,still win little battles thou they mean nothing really,barely usually keeping in balance never really shying from the recent challenge a little proud of the mistakes that made me,me,thank god for a hint of ignorance it lets me be free of so many worries that mean even less than the ones that actually affect me,unbalanced? a little bit less denial less anguish more forgiveness acceptance usually mostly absolutely,moving through the universe at the right speed,taking no more or less than I need it is only in the past when you look back that you see if you did succeed  if you did if you didn't its in the past,look forward glance back....

Ode to bullshit

It was just bullshit when I told you it would all work out,but it still made you feel better,I was mostly bullshit when I told that story how we did what we did then somehow got away but it made it a lot more interesting,and again just bullshit about being at that party naked and drunk but again it made it a hell of a lot funnier,and all those times when I bullshitted myself about feeling better and how I was gonna start getting things done,well at least it helped passed the time,and that complete bullshit story of how I was going to help my sick mother I told the cop when I was speeding and he let me go,thanks bullshit,I can never repay you,your always there for me,in my life your never ending,there at every turn your a big part of my life and for that I just want to say thanks and to say thanks I want to throw you a huge party,and my friend knows someone who works for the rolling stones and I'm pretty sure they will come play a couple songs for you,and I can rent a room at the casino for a reasonable rate and its all gonna happen real soon thank you my constant friend...

Always looking under rocks,have usually found nothing but thankfully I just can't stop I only once found something beautiful which fooled me into thinking that there must be more,more beautiful treasures ,more answers to questions ,better reasons then the ones I already know,finding then flipping, thankful I've still the strength,the creative vision the will to move on and keep on looking under rocks...

forever

"i wish you were here..sometimes I see you so clear but its my mind easing my soul illusion sometimes fills the hole that resides in my life since you had to go away,still thou I wish you were here

still

Still a moment still a lifetime,still artwork still uncertain still moving still a box of riddles still stopped at the end of the middle and the beginning of the end still whistling short tunes still wishing for silver spoons to feed my babies still too many maybes making me crazy leads to desperate decisions lacking true vision waiting for wisdom praying for freedom from responsibility for any current actions of stupidity that often that often represents a small percentage  of this my casual abnormality...

Turns out you're just another LA douchebag.So pretty to behold,fearless in your presentation foolish in your decision to carry on which surely your history may suggest will bore me and any other thinking stinking freaking being no one is that pretty to digest such petty conversation about you and how you believe you are responsible for your good looks your inherited monies your wannabe friends who may need to evolve to just to be partially understood,I now resume my inner solitude over your outward sad attitude but politely I say thank you for your time and the cheap bottle of wine I may not be kind but I know the kind I want to be with,good and night...douche bag

dr.

Who me did you think the last three thoughts through,did you think that whatever I said would stink I won't lie so did eyes looking at me deliberately I have no choice but to look back then look away then look back as if to say I know you so don't be afraid of anything I say that may interest or alarm the lay person so to speak my mind usually try to make it kind till I conjure up the punchline then throw it in your ear wait for the reaction hesitant that it may not be clear to the listener whom I cannot choose and should not prefer that becomes the challenge which I shunt shy away from on most any given day,are ya gettin this all down look at me please and please don't look away when I trying to read your face searching for the secrets that you can't explain to me in the verbal literary way look at me thats all just look at me...

overall average 47.0 mph moving average 61.4 mph max speed 97.5 mph total time 35.07 hrs moving tim total distance 1660 miles 26.50 hrs stopped 8.00 hrs smoky 10

passion

Passion, just a word and a belief a reason to give, a gift to receive, pure undeniable truth, unable to deceive giving some relief to relive to resume to relieve,the burden of loneliness and boredom only if for this moment, ever still a useful component in my life, in my strife, Passion desire obsession conspire to obtain and appreciate deliberate,conclude and proceed, distribute then retreat and slowly  drift away,

just one more

Thank for stopping by ,I know you have better things to do with your time,you came and stayed and said hello you stayed long enough till you had to go ,interesting somewhat fun ya it was fun you won I won nothing really came undone ,small revelations you maybe had enlightened me but I'm not sure if maybe you frightened me ,just a little,I feel like maybe I'm caught in the middle of your little extravaganza that left me on the piazza looking at the neighbors that despise me and left me with this such uncertainty that can only mean that you were meant to be alone and desperate with out me  good for you good for me, There you are there am me ,precision is to just an opinion it is the moral majority be thankful for what you go, that is crucial in every decision never will one rise above the rest unless all is in favor with out regret,hip hip hooray  you just won everything and all is gonna be okay,wished for a lot, just be thankful for what you got,started at the beginning but learned the end is worth a lot more even if once you were unsure now its over and you can relax the beginning was scary but the end is where its at...

No people it was bound to happen its underground for me the pressure the anxiety lose the name the address the id lose me morph into the unknown run ride and hide tunnel to a new day into the shadows ,into the night back to the woods the hills the sills of the rivers restful sounds calming numbing clear the mind cleanse the soul embrace to deny  just let it all go...

just this time

came so close this time so close had some time to unwind barely saw how tight the line had become feeling a little tired feeling I had just had some time on my hands could barely understand the latest development in the latest brand have been recently labeled as a psychotic man

So long

Its alway unexpected out of the blue still here I am with you so many twists and turns so many tists and burns laughter only gets me down ,thats not meant to be cliche' or to demand a frown its always the way,before I get around,I love you,one two three,love is not a big deal just a little something something between you and me,the smell of death the smell of life down to the water its always right to be wrong about somethings as long as you tried,found that little something special that lingered inside your soul like when you smoked a bowl but now your to old so you lash out and give a partial shout about what life's all about,still you don't give a crap and its all a backhanded slap in your fucking face your still in the race to nowhere where no one wins and you wish it was the beginning thou you forget where you've been,you will come out ahead in the end,which will tie you for last still it was a blast,get over it ,you win...

you stand before me yet I ignore you you shared nothing but lies and speculations,I am ashamed to know you so deeply please just go away from me...

Still I guess,still gasping ,a rope around my neck,nervous and anxious almost exciting,wait for the tug ,a gentle pull yet fearing the tightening expecting the worst,it tightens quickly and may take weeks to ease up theres certain to be burns scars obvious reminders of where I've been,I do not try to hide these marks they are just a fact of life and proof that I've lived,still they are there,life is a whim brief sad thou still enormously enjoyable,frantic seldom without questions continual emotion the only constant,always an opinion self comforting pretend understanding,it works it can't not work or I will become extinct ... 

Corny ,ya I like corny,funny sure that will do to,happy endings how cliche'  but you know I wouldn't have it any other way,

It happened all of a sudden ,realization is like finding an exit in the rear of the building,suddenly ,you want out,nobody walks past the exit to the alleyway,its always an easier escape,well hidden you'll be long gone before anybody even misses you,like the sudden exit, realization comes with little time to seek drastic solutions,and often hasty conclusions to lifelong situations,always we take the exit without thought or hesitation,but at least we feel a sudden freedom which of course demands a new responsibility you are now more accountable for your actions,no longer is ignorance your friend and constant companion,that permanent crutch,thou seemed helpful obviously slowed you down,At last that much needed backhanded bitch slap that put you back on the map and let you climb to the top of a heap of smoldering crap that is you life...

Got pulled over yesterday,but he let me go after I told him 50 was the new forty

"Wanna pack your bags, something small. Take what you need and we disappear. Without a trace we'll be gone, gone. The moon and the stars can follow the car, and then when we get to the ocean. We're gonna take a boat to the end of the world, all the way to the end of the world."My bag is packed I have been ready all the while,since we first met,One bag always at the ready,a small stash of cash,but now I'm nervous the fantasy and dream is about to become extinct,the bag will be new no more,even thou this is what I have been waiting for,suddenly I'm not completely sure,I wooed you primped and pleaded with you,so many small bribes, hints and suggestions along the way,now I hesitate I'm stunned confused weak in the stomach I can not believe Its happening this way,still my bag is ready and I will chance change wander off to a new life with you,we have already destroyed our old lives,it can never be the same,the ship is at the dock,it only comes once a month It leaves today...  

My voice is never heard only my words have been read not sure what has been lost threw the lines but it always keeps them on their toes not knowing what will come next its all just a game in this land of fortune and fame no one really to blame except their own city of pain.i have read the words back and had some cracks that have hurt my sides so lets keep it alive and you will thrive.With this thought I will revive my past expectations,attempt to relive,rethink the present,and revisit what used to be my dreams,that certain excitement that made me scream,I know what I am here for,I see my visions of grandeur,I have a purpose and I shall fulfill it,Summer has now passed,and hope is still in my grasp,with my hands around hopes throat I will choke it till it becomes reality...

The future is a present from the past...

Just a stray dog wandering the streets,not happy not sad just doing what his instincts tell him to do,looking for food in the back of restaurants digging in garbage  what ever it takes to survive just on instinct...

bitch

Just suddenly in the middle of the night,I want to splash in your bath I totally want to lick your face then bite your ass,I willingly deny my desire to be alone and free from responsibility,I am possessed  by this random obsession to break my tranquility,  I have no explanation there is no confession,reasons are for believing but I have none, evolution is the only explanation physical euphoria felt as spiritual state non linear emotions in sporadic rates like a sneeze sudden extreme erotic then passes then free,until the next wave the next crave of this knave,until then I'll just sit down and wait and well I guess,I'll just behave...

let's not waste another moment. Let's get lost in this embrace and adventure into oblivion. Close your eyes and hold on tight. Together we will find the right place,we'll determine the right pace to keep us interested in the present we will always deny the past thats just a secret between you and me certain intimacies that keep us free from the obvious struggles every day these only secrets we keep hidden away not ashamed to share but still aware that that the secrecy is part of the erotic spree that keeps us alive and proud to be, a part of this fantasy,so right so strong so far so long to each other so long for me...

In time

I got the notion that there might be an explosion of controversy in this century seems that the good people don't trust the bad people enough to work together to try to change the weather of this planet we call home,the blue ocean and the green sea are apparently at odds with each other and can not together figure witch way to flow,can't anyone play nice any more figure which way to the safest sure thing to be positive about something,bring something nice to the table then share it with everyone not just the young and beautiful try to be truthful without talking with your mouthful make your mothers proud that you are part of the crowd who is concerned and willing to wanting to if able to do whatever good thing is needed to do,won't you?

I'm not sorry I still love you and I still do,I feel i've grown because of you and whatever we've been through together seems so brief and still it seems like forever we have known each other,thou I do admit it has been awhile anyway I still love you ,just sayin...

happened
Wish I didn't miss but I can't dismiss the feeling that steers me in whatever direction it may,Its still not clear to me but evidently It will all be correct in the end,Maybe its reckless but I'm quite helpless in the course that guides me to the end,I just hold my breath and hold on tight enjoy the ride while I'm still topside in the light that shines on me daily till I go down in flames I'll keep playing this game of whos who and who are you all just a diversion to get me through another day another battle with the light waiting for darkness and the still of the night,I feel good content satisfied glad to be alive unlike so many of my peers sisters and brothers of this world moved on before me perhaps before their time,crossed the fine line on the time line end of their moment not the end of mine,I'm feeling ok I'm feeling fine good day good day...

I've accepted my limitations I understand them now,they used to worry me,but obviously they must exist otherwise I would be perfect and that would be far greater pressure than ever I could stand.Actually they are something of a comfort they ease the pressure of success ,it merely redefines it is and what it should be  because  life is apparently a success unto itself your alive ,your a success congratulations on your continued success... 

When all hell breaks loose and everything is all wrong, when when sanity and reality collide and it seems I've been waiting too long for things to work themselves out as I understood that they would,I keep trying to get up and the world just keeps knocking me down,I will take a little hiatus,a break and a breather you may not ,for awhile see me around I won't really be hiding just a little time for me, I'll just be patiently waiting in the lost and found...

Its such a powerful feeling that comes over me intimate passionate I won't explain,like finding joy in pain its abundant and confining,just realizing the little things in life corny cliché again abundant and free for the taking only a few are invited I know this now,I'm thankful to be one of them,can't explain how it makes me feel how i think I can feel how I'm gonna feel,I've had a glimpse into your future and its so very good I just hope you notice that will make it all true,if you don't so sad ,it was all there just waiting for you...  

Sorry I arrived late but I just couldn't find my way I remember you invited me along earlier I just was not paying much attention at the time,it only seemed as thou I declined the offer but I'm pretty sure I did not.Still here I am I had other things to do but I found the time to spend with just you.I thought we were good together you seemed relaxed I thought we had fun ,conversation usually light the situation always felt right,always a mystery to me why should it be more than this still intimate it is a friendship with a few possibilities there are no rules no guidelines no fine line we can't cross no assumed expectations no extreme acquired situations that we can't risk that loss,just  time,the greatest gift like substance ever known I hope we use it wisely,its not always there for us but we can share it it does not accumulate we have equal portions shall we spend it together?I think so...

Its ironic,I think, how they put her ass in sexual herassment...

red dots

I know its just a game, still I rely on my obsession,I think of it everyday just the same black dots are always black dots until they're not.I have since been reduced and once was seduced now more of a recluse bored and still patiently awaiting for the dam to break open the gates let the excitement flow, till I can't see straight,I just let go, if only to show to myself ,I can still choose my shelf to sit on or jump off, landing hard stop, or soft on the run.Still searching seeking rediscovering my inner personality, my inner weakness, it is vulnerable but durable, so strong and brave willing to sacrifice security and safety for bruises and pain,jumped over the grave reality just a few minutes of fame long since gone barely remember if or when, it was an instant not a constant it comes to me now and then it again goes unnoticed back into my subconscious where it lies content waiting.My addiction my obsession perhaps run its course,thou still a formidable force, black dots are still black dots till they turn red then they are not...I feel no remorse...

I slipped quietly away into the night, only looking back briefly,to see if shadows were trailing me in the dimmest of light, surely I had been seen fleeing the scene of such a horrific fight, possibly no.This must be my conscience peering at me I now feel faint lightheaded and dizzy I can't go back it was an accident but no one will see it that way I will be strong I will continue on I will cry only this one tear,only this one time...

True love isn't something you find when you're looking for it, it's something that finds you when you need it the most,its not something you have control over,it appears like a ghost,your not always sure at first,if it was or is real,your not sure of what you saw, thought or started to feel,its uncanny,often frightening,not really sure if its a day thing or a night, thing or if it all happened just because you were drinking,or if really it might even be the right thing,either way don't be afraid just turn out the lights and see if it goes away...

Call only if there is an emergency ,text anytime example:theres extended happy hour at your favorite establishment...thats a call...your going out and everybody else is busy,thats a text...you want to go out and your paying,thats a call.you want to go out and I'm paying thats a text,lol JK you can call on that on too...

disappointed

Riding free past the deadbeats and the wannabes,no wind in no hair just against the smile on my face,never gave a care, never acknowledged disgrace in my lifetime was always told what was right and how to stay in line, but I never really listened to fools and old school losers who never had a correct answer,never had a clue,till they lay on their death beds then life became so simple they then understood what I was always trying to say, things I've always said,at least they got it one time before they past away, to the next stop on the journey to immortality,then to be with me I'm not angry,just frustrated how I tried so hard and so many ways to explain the simplest thing to you, but you just turned away,left me standing rambling like a fool,you tried to embarrass me, I refuse to  acknowledge why you chose ignorance to keep company with your loneliness and defiance to be your closest friend,still I go on looking at you waiting for you to look back at me and smile and tell me it was meant to be and everything will always be ok in the very end...

Had a great nite cheering on michelle at the strip joint,sure there were naked woman to distract me from the real reason I was there ,to support and cheer on a friend,sure they had big beautiful bums and asked for very little money to touch them,sure they asked me to come back on a regular basis,but I digress its all about sportsmanship,who's with me on this...

let me know if you happen to pass by publix tomorrow

haha

love you

muah

have a good night.. or day... whatever! Go to sleep

 I'm a hustler baby, I just want you to know...I don't need your downs and laying arounds I want to go out and breath and relieve my need for living free I want to climb a rock,not just to get on top but to feel the pain in my fingers the bumps on my knees  on my way up,to always be aware that I have the ability to enjoy all facets of life, just to enjoy being me...

first theres the airfare then you have to book the room,and thats tough in the summer months,then you finally get to your room and theres probably not enough towels cause ya need towels for the shower after all that sweating you do when you read the bible in a hotel room,well I do anyway.And what if somebody stole the bible,then what all that way for nothing...follow me ,crossing the T special introductory rates don't delay do it today...no affiliation with railroad crossing tea company...

thought

A blinking light it must be a text ,I hope its you,nothing important maybe a joke or two,anything to help me through this mundane day,working doing the right thing and making my way.I'll check it when I get a chance,a small break in the action,a moment yes a moment ,I see a flashing red light I know its a text I hope it is you...

later

I know always with you, I'll have a place to rest my head and a friend who will cleanse my soul,you scratch mine,I'll watch yours,as we venture through this journey of friendship we may observe a certain mishap but never a relapse to our worst day always an interest and consideration or know when to clear out of each others way,always room to breath never make you or me uneasy about things we've said even after we vented our souls just to help clear our heads,I don't always need you or you me but alas thats because we know what we know you and me...

  --ORIGINAL MSG: I once knew a hot guy with a Bhuel it was cool and i never learnde to spell it so hot guy dumped me.Got something crazy to tell u. Call me. Ull get a kick out of thisIt's good by the wayIt's cute that you think I'm kidding... LolSilly and sassy. Lol  I'm just goofy!  No you stupid faceHaha! Ur a trip!The ladies at bank of America will love that. LolAnd checking out my moms rack...How much entertainment can I interest you in tonight mr. Obrien? LolHaha. Thought you could read my mind by now...How do u come up with that??Ur a trip!! LolMmm burgers from christies!!!Hahaha. Getting it now! And u know ur awesome and that I love ya. That's worth more than 90. LolI have officially recorded in a million dollar studio  Western union if u can? Pretty please? I'll so make up to youHaha. Ur the best :)Getting it now. Had some issuesTemporary issues ;):) thanks again :))Lol! See you in 6 :)90 covers you're awes.... Lol! Just kidding!  It's all good! Can't blame a chick for trying

love you too sassy

 A fool and his money are buried together

I've grown stale I got cold old and unavailable,your youth leads me to new creative sensations or just back to them I'm not sure and I'm sure I don't care yet I am simply thankful and thankfully unaware of what the next trip will be, an adolescent adventure,well quite possibly I will keep perusing that so called happiness even if it is just a dream,I have made peace with my demons long ago now we live in harmony together no misunderstandings no grievances no irrelevant upheavals theres just no need no more causes to believe in now its all smiles and pats on the back till the end of our days,I can not think of any other way to streamline our precious time just the demons and me in perfect harmony,just towing that line,just letting it be...

awaken
I will be who you want me to be,I will be who you need me to be,I will stay plain to maintain that certain stability on which you've come to expect and rely on,I shall wear only smiles from day to day I shall never waiver I will forever sustain that naive vulnerability such undying trust to forever commemorate the two of us,strolling through life together never wishing for more complete concentration on your every need and desire and if you believe all, your the ultimate geek,and I am the ultimate liar,who did you think was gonna polish all that armor feed the damn horse,pillage the meek entertain this bad ass knight from week to week,be careful what you wish for,and another thing cinderella ,clean that filthy floor...

 I used to be sluggish and down like this all the time till I discovered spam,just when your out of energy open a can of spam and bam take a big old bite I know it don't sound right as you sink your teethe in to what used to be a hogs grin ground up pig parts and partially potentially hydrogenated beef hearts mmm bye some spam today,and get back in the game...!

fail

Well what did you expect another vase of flowers a glass of cold water in the face,a peek into a parallel universe or another tall fantasy tail for god sakes,sorry didn't want to go there I was not afraid,I was scared how it might turn out in the interim the end never bothers me and the beginning I wasn't aware of a thing its more the process that brings things into perspective,what does that mean?well hard to tell I think it means I'm afraid of work, can't stand the thought trying and then failing,so I'm afraid to try and I claim to be lazy sounds crazy ?Well then explain it to me...

three

There were several flowers visible in the field,the wind blew them gently but constant,eventually they would begin to grow a little less straight,they were still beautiful and fragrant and willing to share their beauty with the world,there was no, one day out of the ordinary most days were quite the same yet over time one flower bent a little more than the rest under the constant strain, it was not a different type flower,it was just a little smaller and slightly more fragile,the other two flowers did their best to block some of the wind and help support the smaller more delicate flower,but they could only do so much.Time has past and the smaller flower seemed to be growing enough to not bend any more,but it remains a little bent a little needy and still beautiful...  

tymes

Ok goofy why not your cute and sweet thats a lie I repeat thats a lie your not sweet but well gosh thats swell I thought you died and went to hell thats not a lie I would've cried if well if I cared and feared death was coming for me  but you apparently didn't die and I guess I didn't too,one two three dr,seuss was on the loose should have ,when I had the chance put his head in a noose what rhymes with goose you silly moose oh this is tough hes a total genius but I've had enough of the one two three waltz scheme and I think he was missing a penis, oh you see me out of time,if a mime could rhyme I'd give him a dime for every sentence he would say on his way to the unemployment line oh thats just silly well thats just fine go ahead and try it its as easy as one two three first the girls now the boys wait,now just me...

when

Well wow whats going on haven't seen you around lately,I can only imagine the day to day world you live in, typical problems and choices weaknesses and vices, occasional delights I think of you and about you from time to time .I always miss you a little bit ,if I said I didn't I'd be lying well just a little not what ever I meant to do.Do gone on, well I shall, there were times when when we saw too much of each other as friends but now those times are quite gone and maybe its time to bring up the average,maybe see each other over lunch ,maybe hug hello then hug see you later maybe once a week but at least once again. I do miss you and the time we spent ,arguments that was the best I could go for another, I'm sure we could think of something if we just found the time,It usually started with a bottle of wine,a relevant topic and again time,I never told you but you were usually right but I did not care about that, it was the passion of the moment the exaggerated lines I would toss at you to get you going,the quick useless rebuttals got that exact passion flowing,such fun back then together drinking, when we were worthy friends... 

just a joke

You know when you leave the bar you want to be cautious, then you get in your car and peter frampton  comes on and you think its some kind of diplomatic immunity as long as you turn it up so even if yo get pulled over you just say its peter frampton for god sakes, saying for god sakes more immunity.Thats what police look for is people singing in their car on the way home from the bar but officer its peter frampton for god sakes then the cop says get out of here your to drunk to talk too. Hey some people don't like talking to drunks fortunately he was one of them, but I think he got the whole peter frampton thing even though he was a young punk anyway.My father said to me you know your old when the cops seem like kids, I'm old he did and i was on my way,they look like kids and think their all that ooh look at you with your gun and bullet proof vest,big man. ha damn kids,for god sakes...

Living a dream on a slot machine,going to vegas I'm feeling courageous gonna make a donation of a years worth of wages thats right your money stays in vegas along with the story how you lost it all the amazing rise to riches followed by the usual drunken tough guy fall let it ride the chant of the fool give me a free drink make me look pretty cool credit cards atm just this one time I got friends just a couple more spins you know I'm do .I'm bound to win after all I've been through last hand last call glad I prepaid my plane ticket I can get a ride just can't tell everybody I'm broke I got my pride,and had such a great time,Now just another thirty years to pay it off I'll be back I'm not entirely through...

I remember driving in your big comfortable car you sitting by my side so relaxing and beautiful your hand in mine ,like sitting on a comfy sofa watching a movie.The movie playing was the dark winding road.We drove around the reflecting lake we drove pretty slow didn't want to rush this moment but then poof where did it go,it has long since vanished now just a perfect beautiful memory stored in my mind, that loves to say hello from time to time...

I remember when i realized how great was that song seems like so long ago mostly because it was ha made the hair on the back of my neck stand up,driving in NY near JFK on the cargo road I think driving home after a long day just me in my exp cranberry red not a half bad radio I forget the exact rock station but on it played I found myself turning up the volume and didn't need to wonder for long why or what is it about this song that made me yell hell ya I want to tell you wow but that was long ago in a dark car at night when it was ok to be alright and play the radio loud...

Mystery solved,problem gone,headaches a faded memory root cause still unknown shadow boxing just a fad ,shadows gone sun to follow no need to preach they don't speak the language anyway,conflicts all resolved,amazing ?Not really,seemed it was bound to happen sooner or later,the killer was invited to dinner he put down his guns stayed for ice cream didn't want to seem rude figured it was better that way,its abstinence that inspires the mind and soul, ones will can easily fill ones needs on a daily basis to be happy and feel utterly free from guilt and anxiety life becomes easy if you want it to be...

Well hello my old friend ,its been so long I don't know where to begin,the children all grown and gone it all has passed by so quickly it almost seems wrong,and I'm sure your kids too have found more interesting places to be than to hang on to you,ha funny for real,got to run love to see you we will catch up it will be fun...

always

My life is nearly half over and I don't feel I'm anywhere near halfway to my fated slated destination I try but theres so much distraction I spew nonsense just to git that knee jerk reaction but sometimes its just comes out a jerk,but i have little regrets its just something like teretts it just comes out right or wrong short or long I've been damned and thrown out ask to leave and shown the door always claim,whatever for? But I know don't really care won't really grow,get over it I am,got the only other call back on the velvet rope tour,they might have shown me the door but then I would have escaped gone to the authorities and reported rape of my mind simplest brain washing you'll ever find,that day is long gone,grade school where I was first made the fool high school there were a few only humor got me in trouble and yet kept me sane,and got me through..

You were not handed a silver screen not served on the proverbial platter one must love for love thats all that matters something about be true to ones self that expression gathers little dust on the shelf it is a reference used and shared repeatedly compared to weary travelers such as you

most

I don't have your voice I cant sing what I have to say and even if I did I'm not sure I would want it that way you still need some luck to get your word out and hope people sympathize and and know what it is you just might be talking about ,I shared my fears but if they are so dissimilar to any others then probably no one cares anyway, might try singing or somehow bringing life to something maybe I learned I hope to share with some young ones some day,but I'm too lazy to fail and its a surer bet this way...

Forever

I won't lie I'm not sure if I was supposed to be slap happy content moved or sly, I only know it was moving touching beautiful and I cried. It reminds me we're all older moved on ,our world has changed Now I realized what a wonder it all was when I was younger too even thou I'm a bit older than you ,thanks for inviting me along in that awesome heartfelt gut wrenching song I didn't want to go like you apparently did,you tricked me with your siren voice and that seemed a little cruel to me,but I went and it was sad and beautiful and I cried real tears from both eyes ,thats been awhile and me the know it all is not really sure why, down the road,down the road...

ME

I will stay away I never knew how to or was even willing to play with the likes of you so prissy prim and proper never get your nails dirty never accept my offer to teach you something new your always so content with all the same projects that you do such a pity for me at least,you treat me like I have some kind of disease you shun me I was never smart enough for you scholastics and academics never my forte' mostly its just opinions that get in the way,I still respect you never expected to get through because I too am arrogant, a snob of sorts our childish banter often goes back and forth a tie vote has no winners and no submission is often losers finally we part way perfectly equal no rematch no love story of course no sequel

Why the earth and the sky are nothing without the oceans and sea the amazing ability to cleanse and heal rejuvenate the innermost soul and change the way that you feel about life in general I don't know if its the salt mineral or the conductive energy of the tremendous amount of life that it contains its so soothing calming, amazing it holds you like the helpless child you truly are some people have been taken away as some type of forced sacrifice it gives then it takes a life occasionally shamelessly painlessly except for the pain of the survivors the storytellers and some liars,it lifts you then controls you pushes and throws you we temp the ocean we temp fate it then expels us we drudge to the shore fighting the tides sometimes taking a ride on the power and force this source of energy this cradle of life...

Again I lye dormant like a reptile in winters mud you were my sun that energized me now you are none I'm barely coherent I lie in bed most of the day,always try to blame my schedule and how I prefer it this way but I'm just trying to cope stop the crying and float to the top where there is again life and possibly hope for future contentment,improved quality of life and slowly lose the resentment that has contained me in this muck like state of reality...

Did you ever want to chat with a brat maybe give her a smack in the back of a Cadillac then get hit with a verbal attack and hope one day you will get all you missed then get it all back then you admit that you were pissed and suddenly all the bruises were kissed and you were healed and it was all very real and you now had all that you thought that you lacked,suddenly unlocked all you craziest thoughts then threw them away set you free no more feeling guilty for not doing what you should have done or would have done if you weren't so young and so innocently dumb,all regrets erased start off with a fresh slate,afforded the second chance and its not to late...well did ya?

split

breathless and beautiful. A divided soul delivers a heavy blow without bullets or steel....haunting me just a belief yet painfully real,beauty too is not real just something I believe that to others is not true,faith only skin deep can be cut away abraded, torn off and burned for fuel, burned for relief, my faith is fading it was never meant to last forever, my thoughts growing cold my beliefs less deep my ambitions less bold,my soul too has been made and has played the fool,somewhat changing,fading,searching seldom seen,transparent thou still real,ready to soar, one half is older tired yet content and the other half still ready for more...

keep

Stop being afraid,get the gun out of my face,its always fear that pulls the trigger ,its all such a waste of time running and hiding never been law abiding doing things I ought not to do, being weird when everyone else ain't got a clue now its just fear and its not of you or what you've turned into,a punk a killer a thrill seeker a will breaker trouble maker last chance deal breaker,what a shame I'm just sayin you shouldn't have changed shouldn't have stopped prayin and now your just playin with time you don't have lacking will for survival its appears to be a total loss of salvation redemption now your just a collection of regrets and innuendos, empty threats jokes with no punchlines no cause no reason...

Vanished with out a trace,she left no clues telling me why thats why I was not sure if it was something dumb I had done, I'm thinking probably but I'm still not sure,of the exact reason. She had left before,but did come back I felt under attack from guilt and unsure feelings there often seemed no reason for the glares she was giving at awkward times like when friends were visiting and the children were lifting their voices in laughter,I'm not sure what reaction she was after but I think I'm sure,I tried them all,never knew which worked for what but I hung in there and gave it all I got I guess to no avail and no definite conclusion, now this disappearance just adds more question to the still growing confusion ,but now that shes gone I'm quite certain I'll be just fine and easily get along...adios bitch and so long...

go

Stop being afraid..stop running away,these bad times won't last forever ,it will be better or worse one day,get out of your room get out of the house there is no life indoors just stillness then death,thats what you should be aware of, even a little afraid of,let fear create a cause to get you to the real safe place in the real world, not on the streets but in the country where pebbles lay dormant and life is there to see,stop being afraid of being free...

For me

Summer ,warmth and ease of living slow and mellow in no rush to go anywhere too stressful lacking in interest or uneventful,cold beer sweaty bottles wet coozies aware of life at the fullest, cruzing at half throttle just take a ride along the shore no need to hurry smell the salty, air watch out for the cage dwellers on their phones to nowhere ,past parked cars, girls in bikinis yea theres no rush lovein the scenery,hot sun ,families holding hands flip flop slapping sticky gum, tan crazy legs hanging off skinny white bums, when slow easy living is fast summer fun,past the strip twist the throttle get a grip on the feeling of freedom what ever you may become you can always go back to the simple ways of summer days slightly tinted by that halo haze,rubber side down...

It was so long ago ,only for that moment you past my mothers house, you were quiet at the time, young and beautiful confident and strong,that memory lives on,and now there you are,older bolder still confident or thats what I perceive by what you post, and the things that you say,so many years what you've done I have no idea ,people you've met I see sadness in some of your expressions,I'm sure it has not been all easy for you. I never knew you and still I remember,the pictures helped some .Maybe the story of your life is too different from what I would have imagined it to be,maybe better maybe worse,I am a little hesitant to learn the truth its ok to keep your peace from me I shall just pass you by maybe glance into your eye or watch you look away maybe it'll be okay...

Cleared out cleaned out left it all behind feel so refreshed forgot what a clean slate felt like so wrapped up in the pace lost focus on the child inside so free no cares just run with out a thought,just run wild, brought me back to the place where peace of mind is where it all begins and it where it all ends so don't forget when the engine starts up again make sure to put it into neutral every once in awhile,and reverse is the best,back to simplicity,authenticity good old fashion reality,

Tides come in and tides go out but your love will always rise in my eyes the joy and love we share you just can not compare each moment spent is like a pray so deep and meaningful,each new step we walk surpasses the last stroll we shared the joy and laughter makes it all worthwhile so let us move on to see what the future holds,all footprints fade eventually,we shall make them fresh every day,two sets always,to the sea then back to the dunes,years long, as long as we can,as long as we remain strong,able,and aware,two sets no regrets...

such

I feel no pain yet still I am alone,just waiting for a reply,to my recent question as to why you just went away,no warning or explanation,of course you owe me nothing, still I wonder ,I choke on my tears sit uncomfortable with same old fears ,I know and I am fully aware that I am ultimately strong and need not long for love or assistance from anyone including you,yet still I sit with no regret and no logical reasons and even less to believe in, alone except for these demons that are truly my only true friends...

HOH

Oh please carry me away, ocean carry me away, you're my better half,you cooled me when I was overheated ,you inspired me when I felt defeated,you showed me a vastness that I can never fully appreciate,still I hesitate to plunge into your darkness which holds mysteries barely known to any you are so beautiful when its sunny and quite magnificent with your waves crashing high on the rocks when it rains, yet thats all I can do,sit and stare and wonder and you are never the same always changing and of course you are always there for me waiting patiently for me to make my move if only to prove to myself that I have the courage strength and desire to go forth to cross you and connect with the rest of the people of this great planet which is mostly you...

quest

I've got too much going on in my head. I feel like I'm in one of those rooms that has like 15 open doors. I need to start going in those doors. I need to start my game. I need, I need. I want..I....Selfishness is a blessing. Confusion is an infection. Someone help me,I am self righteous I know my direction I am choosing any door I am not afraid I do not need protection against the unknown,the not yet seen my uneducated selection this is what I live for it is what is meant to be I have no more word till I enter that door,words without experience are lies to me...

vow

Don't worry. I won't break this. Ill keep it safe forever, if you give me the chance to keep it safe.You just go on about your business,I will make everything right again between us,I will keep this secret promise we have as an assurance that we will always respect each other whether we want to or not,this secret sacred pack this never ending bond,between me and you,this mutual willingness, with this aspect there are never regrets,I love you...

rub a dub dub dub

www wicked weird world when it comes to sick sex i haven't even got to first base yet,and I stress the word yet,I'm learning a lot about how the human body works and how far you can stretch various orifices,I.m learning about fornication flatuation masturbation urination deification penetration deviation degradation all the shuns yes quite a learning experience and no matter what your looking up sooner or later your looking at something weird and naked and by weird and naked I mean educational and interesting,let me see Bibles for first holy communion eight minutes later I'm looking at three girls and some kind of farm animal,and the funny thing is I think one of them was holding a bible,
um hosepower for a 1992 corvette somehow turns into a girl in a bikini then then old woman in russia milking their breasts,and the problem is I don't fight it no resistance what so ever I play dumb oh I wonder what that means and where its going?dah oops same place as the other day what a coincidence ..If you laugh at this you've been tricked once or twice too...

I'll bring blood to your ears and tears to your yes and put a sour look on that puss,I'll hurt you badly then leave you to die...

wid

At last its night finally darkness time to write start that fight in my head throw rocks at my soul make it all flow out out of my fingers sometime a few zingers come to mind mostly ramble you know what I do I don't control it I just let it go don't blame me it just writes itself I just throw the coals on the fire and watch it go

I took a breath got a little choked up I could not believe what was going on around me there were people dying and babies crying and some others lying about the state of things,I just sat and stared almost unaware for so long that all this was going on under my nose it was a sweet scene super imposed on what I normally see there was hatred this still confuses me there was violence sometimes I can see how this would affect me such lack of love I 'm at a loss can't understand logically its got to cost the people and their livelihood and the lazy no good doers ain't never done what they should to even succeed for their own family they have no clue ain't never done nothing worth doing what they do I am helpless in this mess ,have nothing or nobody left to bless its a disgrace and somewhat of a shame there are no rules and no winners in this game I'll go along accept theres nothing much I can do one day it will be over for me it will be over for you,can't change anything in other peoples minds can't explain other thing just try to be kind I'll do my best for you but can make no promises of what other will do to you,I wish you the best I will take a rest and wait for the outcome the remainder of the total sum of the damage the disaster the pain all in all the strength of the strong shall remain...

dare

Go ahead look me in the eye,don't be afraid,I won't make you cry what is it that you see is it my soul can you see how shallow I can be,I mean well always wish the best for you who may know me or listen to me when I seldom make much sense when I seldom believe what anybody may share with me take no offense I just don't understand always what may be easy for you is a nightmare for me so again please look me in the eye and tell to me what do you really believe you see

feeling

I was born a fool early on went to school a fool hung with fools started a club for wayward fools fooled most the fools I ever worked for fooled myself most of the time taught by fools ridiculed by fools felt fear from failures for fools found on flat freakin ground floundered around till i found famous fabulous fantastic fortunate fantasy fools ,was never to cool to be the fool who found life with you so final and full face it now nothing left to force me to finally be the mis fortunate fool for you forgone I'm gone...

we are dancer floating far,climbing rocks finding stars,deep light follows tell us tales through our shadows,reckless free form delight wisp away the night our fantasy our life...

Fla.

Stopped while crossing the swamp could hear the gaters grunt and bellow,some sort of midnight banter some sort of hello come closer if you dare some unafraid others unaware of the potential danger that accompanies the soft and mellow wading of the keeper of the swamp,extremely quick they give a kick with a tail latch on to your arm roll rip it off its permanent harm that leads to death and dismemberment never pretty but pretty permanent consumes all parts digestion so efficient life sustaining accomplishment,no minor adjustment required perfect evolution near perfect answer near perfect solution to surviving sustaining and living and thriving...

Me

read me

feed me

bleed me

freed me

seed me

answer me

cancer me

dancer me

bill me

will me

thrill me

kill me

summer grunge

Smells like a carnival,fried dough popcorn something sweet,and adolescent perfume,with just a hint of deet,still hear crickets over mechanical wheels distorted pa music girls giggle and children screams,theres a happy couple walking hand in hand together they have a full set of teethe ain't it grand,matching concert shirts from different bands dirty sneakers blaring speakers unshaven barkers hustling the patrons eating more of that godforsaken sugar sweetened soft serve with that mushy cone should have gotten the blue colored slush traded a mess for a brief refreshing headache, luke warm beer in vomit inducing plastic cups mosquito bites on my arm the fun times of summer sure to harm the future of the children finnally after you filled them with flat coke and stale licorice half eaten hot dogs smothered in bacteria relish,ha now can you smell it...

cmon

who is watching the baby,who is hoping that maybe she is ok just some passing phase it will all work out it will be all the way it should and could be but seriously who is watching the baby today is it you or is it me...

temple

Its the place where I was baptized the place where I realized that there are not freaks and geeks just people who seek an opportunity to live express and give their talents and beliefs a chance to shine down on Venice beach it was to me within reach yet it seemed fleeting and brief just one hug a half dozen shrugs so much scenery to love one push maybe a shove paintings artists con and paint,players and actors some unsuccessful most unforgettable workers and worshipers health conscious unconscious skaters and haters converge to emerge maybe a little more tolerant of each others apparent needs and present dreams,survival surveillance of people in a trance some do their dance all look for some crumbs attention and love I tasted the water there it was as salty and fresh as anywhere else in the world I have no regrets...

done

Questions still more questions ,cute innuendos and silly rhymes is anybody done talking ha certainly not me cant stop obsessing yaking hoping listening then choking sinking floating who know who cares just for a minute stop sharing your fear and feelings and bullshit believing self examination rambling frustration dont care what you wear what you shouldhave done when you had the chance when you were young some lame battle turned into some lame idea a sorry ass exuse well excuse me for stopping here didnt mean to bother you upset hand out free tickets get you all wet with my dim wit spit in your face drag you down to a lower place with my bad jokes my sad stories my lack of concern about my lack of worries i have failed and now your a witness this distress will surely finish our ties no more laughs stories posts blurry pictures stress regrets apologies so now I guess I'm done I guess I'm sorry...

da four

The water never flows up a hill,the answers always follow the question,but not always,seldom do we understand what we see or the reasoning any of this is happening to me,occasionally eventually the revelation is shared with me,or you or whoever might be listening,sometime theres no time to notice,it all happens so quickly,it may elude me or you, we can only try to reminisce then review and discuss the moments we missed ,some opportunities that passed us by,some tragedies that left us to cry, maybe alone or with close friends now even the beginning is a blur when we were lucid we were bright and cared a little more about our future life,when we finally reach the end nature will sneak up on us we will melt back into the universe we will live forever in the past, including this holiday try to be aware just for today...

cool

So glad you figured it all out ,surely it was not all that difficult I am really quite simple I seldom cause any ripple in the karma of the universe most of my actions are are just reflexes simple evolution obvious easy to read how fucking proud of yourself you must be,master of the obvious,conquerer of the the creative, ruler of the world, and the destroyer of me...

Sabbath

I went to the ocean and let go some tears, had water to drink had let go some fears they were clouding my view, refreshed by the water and the thought of everything turning out ok sit and meditate take in the view ,it is still the seventh day occasionally its something I still must do,refreshed recharged renewed ,take one new step start on the rest of the trip just this occasional slip back in time to the beginning before I was losing ,before I was winning,before I met you,

strategy

When the king is a pawn,he knew it wouldn't take long to be placed in a position where he could no longer move or be in control of his destiny,now he just sits and watches the board he can only hope for errors mistakes and just worthy fate,his players are leaving the game,he's quite unprotected ,he feels so ashamed,when he was young seemingly not so long ago,he moved quick with little wit reckless and brash now so humiliated nearly alone running and hiding knowing he is only biding some time it won't be long,till this King is gone...There is no second game,your only hope is to try to change your strategy distract life with an occasional apology,time is the opponent life is the game,move less quickly,try to sustain your appreciation for your fellow players without trickery,or mockery of their game your on the same team,it is not all hopeless thou it may seem sometimes like a bad dream but its real so deal with it slow down before you go down for the count,the count is only one...

micha

I made the mistake of looking at your picture today..it hit me like a ray of light after days of darkness, I had to squint my eyes then shield my face and quickly look away

Why?

Something just ain't right I can feel it deep,It started the other night I noticed in my sleep,change is always coming I feel I'm being summoned its starting to give me the creeps,I'm sure I see ghosts its not unusual for me,till now they move slower so that I'm more sure of what I see,everything happens for a reason this is something I can no longer not believe in,still the spirits share their secrets of deceit,with me, I don't know what to do with such knowledge I am not allowed to share it indiscriminately,with just anybody,but I believe somebody knows what secret they must share with me,to complete this riddle,confer with me in a huddle together clarify the muddle that so confuses me,I feel it,I feel it is it you?

Almost

Sporting new reeboks ,just got out of detox just got home and found they changed the door locks,this used to be my home . I guess my life hit the jagged rocks ,need a new set of building blocks I can't make it on my own,when I was in detox I learned about what it takes to rebound when your life is upside down and you learn what it might feel like when you think your finally grown,they kicked me out ,I let them down gonna find some new friends that won't kick me around,I know it was my own fault now I can barely float ,someone throw me a life rope,or help me cope,I'm hoping for some fresh hope, I've had such a narrow scope on life and its possibilities searching calmly for new realities setting small goals so I might focus on what I've been told yet this soapy rope its hard to get hold, I've seen all my cards and I might just fold cause bluffing just ain't no good,and life is way too cold...

despair

There have been some setbacks but we are not quitters,surely our lives have not completely shattered into splinters, we are strong and resilient, durability never called into question, possibly we belong in the ranks that come along just every so often, such blind determination, we shall overcome all trials and tribulations,and push toward our goal until we at least believe we have won or have died from vain frustration,leaving haunting ghosts displacing our souls...

Suspence

All things considered not a day in recent past has gone by when I have not thought of you considered giving gifts to you sharing my feelings for you with you supporting you with what ever means are necessary to turn what little I have into plenty just for you,what is this madness that possess me, that steers my thoughts and fears for you, hugs my soul why ,is there even an answer ,does there need to be, do I want it just to be free or would I just deny it which would nullify it setting me free only to be lonely with no sense of purpose a hope to believe in, true faith surely to fulfill some ancient prophecy a storybook legend the longing spirit fantasy,maybe tomorrow it will fade maybe the very next day,I don't mind I don't know why I too won't just fade away...

winner

I sit here I wait had a good time I wait I feel weak thats life,I enjoyed living I enjoyed the fight,life is not full of losers just winners , death is when you lose not a scape goat not a holiday float thou all were there to see ,loved the attention love the free will and spirit that guide me love it live it fuck it get lost in it admit it it was fun, a good good run...almost said I love you all but I was afraid Kobe might have read it ,and you'd think I was drunk,and that would have cheapened the whole experience...

Dare

I haven't heard from you lately,and that disappoints me greatly I guess all I can do is wait and see patiently and you probably sit there waiting to hear from me well listen up I am doing fine towing the line and just occasional wine I still have a job don't dress like a slob and don't owe money to the mob.I recreate but I need to procreate maybe just start with a date with someone who can appreciate but I have gained some weight and I still feel great everyone still agrees with me,must have been something I ate but just can't wait to deliberate over what I want to celebrate for goodness sake...now you

Distance

Another minute gone how many left till satisfaction contentment happiness ,death,another minute gone time left to move on to the places I want to be so many places left to see so many some funny faces, so little time so little money ,another minute, should I start running recklessly move strategically or more slowly so I may understand what I see, I guess a mix of both its how I've seen the most ,in the past ,I been around the block the town the world, and in my mind most of the time,collected memories misplaced most plenty of room for more guess I know what they're for ,for when I just can't run any more just keep runnin run...

boo

The strangest thing that euphoric feeling that just barges in unexpectedly sometime just a brief stay others a bit longer like a sneeze all consuming somehow gives you hope oops then its gone flat line,hoping right away for the next time,till you forget then without regret pow there it is again dont know if its hope for the future or just lifeless despair then its gone just another day yet another way to remind me that I might not know everything about even me...

Sometimes

Can you avoid a void its not really there you can't see it coming suddenly your in it ,nothing to grab on to cant swim in it so you must just relax and wait till eventually you drift to the edge where finally you have something to grab on too and pull yourself out so relax and wait the edge is coming

One chance

In a moment I was gone no pain no warning no second chance ,this time,I should have done more or at least been more aware of life and nature beauty and opportunity to those I knew and moreover to those I did not,regrets,well too late for that should have enjoyed them too when I had the chance,what had sustained for so seemingly long is so suddenly gone and so am I ... Lost a fellow mechanic in Minnesota yesterday killed by gear doors be careful today people life is painful, death is painless,enjoy the pain

rodent relevance

Quick quiet so small the many rodents that run the wall clever they hide only reveal them selfs when they seem to move so darting quick only notice where they've been,never sure where they are or are going they prove irrelevance of time the past is as brief as the future as the present as the past moving on stopped and then gone

I have no secrets I'm not ashamed I have told you all that I know ,now I maybe blamed for all your wasted time and petty games ,still I love you I am unafraid to help you ,hold you ,hug you for me nothing has changed,you are incredible in quite a few ways its too bad you left but its simply better you did not stay

Convict

Theres emotions trickling to me ,a voice in my soul still calling to me I am a prisoner with no chance of parole ,a life sentence with no repentance hard time in the yard, some friends some enemies most dismiss my situation ,some present nourishment put down in front of me . I bide my time accept my punishment for the crime I'm sure I committed long ago . occasionally I beg for mercy if only to know I can still think and breath as I ease into everyday with no intention of changing my ways,the power of emotion beyond my ability to defend my fate an awesome power beyond my control...

I love you , miss you ,I want to slap you touch you, fuck hug and kiss you,, can never dis or dismiss you, not in the morning evening or late afternoon, always do try to consider the things that you do,I don't know why, never did ,I don't care why,the truth is hid from me I hardly consider it even my business its just reality,my constant strength is my constant weakness ,curiosity killed society, trying to make a little difference always been a priority with me,it is these constraints that keep me free my name maybe terry...

Present

Look back you get bored,look forward you get tired,so look to the sides that where the action is

strength

Certain state of mind took a little trip to help me unwind ,used to travel ,sell goods, sold what I could,of course had to support my need to feed my curiosity to fly and learn maybe relate to the unknown the great secrets on display to all of everyone, every day we all wonder though not all adventure, unable to travel, stay at the table that feeds us that believes in our needs hoping to help continuously free our anxiety ,over our ever expanding society ,hoping you never lied to me and defied that gravity which bounds me to you, only twenty paces behind at all times, still new reasons for the same old lines...

hugger

A hug the greatest momentary emotional immobilization tactic immobilize someone today

dreamer

Didn't want to go until I knew I could not,seemed like a long way and it was,not a plane or any known vehicle could take me there only my memory and imagination buried emotions and fading frustrations,I can't miss what I vaguely remember ,I claimed greatness perhaps an exaggeration although so quick to resume old habits embracing, weakness that once controlled my life I never called you,until I called I never knew you until you went away I never grew up till that one day now all is forever changed,I'm not sure if I should complain,probably will usually do ,its ok ,its nothing new I am still inspired by past creations experiences and situations,revisiting demons weakness' and life altering creations,so I'll wait for the time machine to take me where I think I want to go but I'm sure that I will scream at the first sighting of ghosts that I remembered to let go,still now forward motion as I roam wait for emotional delusions to comfort and cradle me for I too know its true ,you can never go home...

almost so close

It finally cracked, that fragile friendship that we once shared ,another storm it would not fare, well it fell ,ran out of reasons excuses seasons and uses for that interaction chemical reaction, mental stimulation prevention and other unmentionables .Not even interested to regret the time invested to this past and that grasp of reality that has now past us goodbye...

lier

Well I guess I lied about damn near everything,about helping and loving you,and the misfortune that I bring ,You thought I would be here next summer but of course that was a lie,you thought I would bring you something special,well go ahead and cry,cause it ain't never gonna happen,I ain't never gonna be by no more and that baby, ain't no lie ,so drink and celebrate without me,sing sad lonely songs that make you long for all the good things and people that love to steer you wrong ,I hope you have a good birthday today,but you can go to hell tomorrow,wake up in a pool of shame and regret then feel in your gut all the pain and the sorrow that makes you strong, just twenty three years old and all the good is gone from your soul...

never

Just another way to say, well where have you been, why have you been away?My lonely beautiful friend, come back to me,come back to my sickly reality, let us again hold hands, hold back the dam, hold in our secrets hold my head in your hands .Hold on to hope, hold on, just one more minute, your gone...

I think I do like it I think so when you read it I'll believe it I usually do ,Jewel...t

well well well

Feel the heat, subtropic reality back again mangos soon, all the critters ,reptiles and mammals testing the domesticated animal,plenty of fruit for everyone,foolish birds discouraging the picky rest,then the ants and flies and the coy cooing doves restocking supplies,subtropical summer sneaked back in its the time of the year ,thats the best...

just because

I took a cab ride today,didn't know for sure what stop to get off at so we continued on.First we went up town just to look around,drove in circles but never really went anywhere .Kept seeing the same people around and around .Then we veered outward,not as pretty of people but more of them and a nice change of pace,again we circled and looked till we got bored it took awhile but it did happen,then a nice trip across town quite interesting ever changing constant motion a good mix,then finally down town ,the seedy section dirty vague looks on peoples faces I could not look to close or stay very long still I did not know where I wanted to get off,but I had some idea where I did not want to go,Finally the driver stopped and let me off, the fare ,my whole life...

should

Just one more day ,just one more night in my life,one last chance to make things right,never before felt what I thought was not right never thought that my beliefs would steer me wrong,now again comes an opportunity once again I hope it doesn't ruin me, all along I've just been fooling me, it lends itself to what a fool I'd be if I blended into this new found reality,seldom clear to see ,yet I will seize this opportunity I will well probably...

lastly

Are you gonna back me?are you gonna slap me remember when I made you happy now its lost and your no longer mad at me.no longer is there a key to me or what I until recently believed to be just the illusion of we

I sit alone by choice i shut off my phome domt need to hear no voice But i guess not all alone cause i came to this bar i could have stayed at home 

comfort

I have no interest in being selfish,thats just the way I am,I did not mean to be mean, thats just the way I arrived on the scene,I confess to you cause your my only fan.It seems I can not change ,I can only complain I'm mostly unaware of the small size of my brain, I need my ignorance and anger to sustain.My morality has been drained life is or was love lost in vain,I fell down just before I assumed I overcame...

cont.

all odds you lured me in you made me crash against the wall against my will,against what made me strong, all along up again I shall get, wise again, never with regret ,scale the wall stand on the top look around survey the future then turn around,piss on the past jump to the future then wait for the crash...

Dirty secrets

Take back control of your laundry gentlemen,thats another way the woman is keeping you down.You heard of the man but its the woman behind the man thats calling the shots.People talk trash about the man cause they're not really afraid of the man, but all are petrified to even mention the woman.Well I'm here to do just that.Remember when you were going to go out and maybe get some attention from some pretty woman, but suddenly your favorite leisure suit is nowhere to be found,you know the one that makes you look hot and desirable to the ladies,the one if it were a dress you'd call it your slutty dress. So ,you don't go out.And that time you where determined to go buy that Porche and all you had to wear was those old sweat pants ,couldn't even walk in to the showroom.And what did happened to my queen concert shirt and oldest blue jeans.First they pump food into you then they shrink your laundry now you don't have they look,let alone the energy to go out or even get out of your own way.So I say again, take back the laundry.Women made it seem like its a tough job but guess what ,its gravy throw stuff in a machine turn it on open a beer,there's even a buzzer to wake you up when its done.Throw it into another machine couple more beers a nap,I got to tell you since I took back control of the laundry I've never felt more refreshed and full of life.Just do it...

A saint

You feel a fool to hang around and stay, but you'd be a fool to be the fool ,to turn and walk away...

punk

Poor precious Paula peeing in a coffee cup don't know which end is up,Lonely for L.A. don't know if shes gay thinks she has a penis then goes the other way,full of German booze hangin with the highest class of fools losin phones sitting at home waiting saddly to go to a home...

sweet geeks

Sudden like right now it happens instant recognition like hardware on a computer , yet to see inside but its just a matter of time.Nothing amazing but comforting and interesting ,with a little something to hide, of course, just a little something or a tremendous lot,doesn't matter as long as it shares files and pictures of smiles and literature.The speed is ok the stream is constant ,data uninterrupted time remaining still unknown...

Its all O.K.

Lay on your trip I',m sure I can handle it,loads of guilt thou I've never felt such hollow vacuum wonderment.I've left loads of room for improvement,give the details to me, I shall secure them beneath the rest of the cement that preserves my memories in which I will not recall.I drink straight from the bottle, deny everyone the truth thats always been my motto.Including myself,no lonesome memories no lonesome shelf.So again,go on pour it on, I've smartly survived this long,I buried my guilt with your bones ,together they are gone.Give it, give it to me, your trip your baggage I'll mis tag it, gladly send it away on a silver tray, looks so good in front of a crowd.All as it should be, all seeming so proud,total denial somehow never spoke before out loud, accidentally lost that every file ,misplaced in the heap over by the ancient pile,lay it on ,its all gone...

Slap

Only already seventeen breathing it in ,living a dream,only to one day wake up without even blankets on maybe the pillows gone,need a little water wheres my protectors why are they gone,harsh reality lost immortality,maybe get out of bed go to work I once had heard but could not conceive had no reference to what to believe,now its real time to go ,learn how to run.Deal with the present no matter the outcome,plot a course experience the force,centripetal like newtons laws so real ,undeniable.

Gasp

Didn't feel the pain of pressure squeezing me making me crazy insane unless your inhuman strong just going along and on for the ride only shame to hide all that emotional crap buried inside my psyche lodged within my brain.Give me a break nothing has changed... 

Fleeting

I had a thought ,then it went away,I thought of how important you were to me then you went  away,I no longer am concerned,nor am I intrigued no more thinking or fighting no need for retreat or attack carried a chip on my shoulder and the world on my back.Suddenly just a memory,well maybe and not so sudden,I'll one day think again but for today I'll just drink again soon again I'll be on the mend back to the simple life,the constant sigh of relief the daily endless strife.Never admit your wrong when you know your right.

My past life I can't seem to forget

Elements of elephants seldom seem relevant though their memories are cast in cement their ambitions are based on regret.perhaps from a previous life previous ambitions based on future conditions they often struggle to accept what is inevitably death...

C'mon

Don't rush it,don't rush me,slow it down ,its all too fast,don't just take a breath,take a nap,do your bloody best to make it last,somebody give me a slap.

Its true

They came on down from possum hill,out in old Kentuck,you just can't make stuff like that up.Thats where they drink and fight all night just till they have had their fill,they can't lay in bed all day cause they got to make the hay, so they can do it again tonight ,go out and play,drink some more and fight again even if it is your best friend and his wife.Cow punching machine wearin daddies cologne and my best blue jeans,gonna live it up cause you only die once,drinkin and punchin I just don't know where to begin.and I just can't give it up...

One tine

The only day when its ok to stick you whith tines of every kind

solo

I saw the crowd coming,I was in time to go the other way,I was too soon to start running.I always carried a sword in case I was at a loss for words ,though it seldom happens, I live in fear of the possibility .It all was quite simple and yet never delightful the trend setters and the bed wetters the I told you so, acquaintances and the never let you forget betters.They're often in pursuit right from the beginning you became the loot.Peripheral vision is my greatest asset, so many wrong decisions my only regret.I'm thankful they don't really need me now, how soon they forget what was my once value, that time is faded and the finer things in life all have been degraded, sharp lines smoothed by time ,all things once clear now terribly blurred and I don't really care,on my way now,the only way out of here...

Men don't mind full fake boobs so do women not mind full fake hair...I can't get laid so I went to a high class call girl and paid her 500 dollars for an hour,after 15 minutes she told me I could still get 90 percent of my money back if we stopped now,I said sure I was done 15 minutes ago anyway...

could

smoking a cigarette enjoying the sensation before the regret sets in from another sin I have committed always the truth is omitted in the official report the last resort before I start again

Got bread

If you kneaded my love you could add any ingredients you wanted,make a loaf of bread with it, and then shove it in the oven and bake it.It tastes best when it is still warm,almost hot.You can put it in the freezer so it would always be there for you,but of course you really couldn't enjoy it.You could put it on a shelf ,and all would see it but it would not last forever,What I think you should do is spread butter and jam all over it and eat it fresh and see how fucking good it is.

Mother was born too

It was the depression about 1930,times were tough thats what I hear,thats when my mother was born.Shes 80 now don't really know how this happened when it occurred?She still gets along denies knowing right from wrong,still got the dirt,telling crazy jokes to random strangers still warning me of the common dangers at least as far as she knows.She love the drama the element of surprise,she loves to say do you want to hear,then tries to shock you into submission,I guess that is her mission.What a trip,always interesting,usually convincing,always entertaining ,taking the lords name in,vain but I would never have it any other way.thanks ma happy birthday...

The mighty tree the most tremendous weed

One time

It was very early morning the kind of early where your a little confused about your reason for being up so early.It was fairly cold and damp.I lit a cheap lantern that I fueled with charcoal starter fluid,it was more available than kerosene and it seemed to work.I was young at the time so it seamed safe also but I may have been a walking time bomb.That would have been difficult to explain to mother,if I blew up she merely would have said ,what are you stupid?As if she would have known any better,ha.Walking through the morning fog in the woods at a young age quite alone,rather frightening and with the shadows created from a flickering lantern and a creative mind ,rather exciting,not comforting ,just hmm.Going to check the traps,I felt it was a test of will ,and character.I guess I passed.I was not always this responsible,I am ,thank god not even close to perfect,I just have a good day from time to time .This was one of them I guess thats why I recall that morning specific.Then the chores are done,and soon up came the sun and then there was no fear ,no thrill no sensation of lonely exhilaration .Exit the secret lonely world of the woods back to home.

shit I forgot what I was gonna say,something about a dog and a boy and life day to day

Oomf

How goes it? Still hangin on ?Any fatter, slower, wiser more annoyed ,less tolerant less concerned about the environment,little need for entertainment, getting your feet fitted for fresh cement.Will you write your name in it,spell it wrong record the date,record that song you always thought was great,now two feet first wouldn't hesitate over board cause your so bored turns out your just a fake,Well here we go Geronimo...

Next time

Tried to catch an eel ,hard to do,slippery quick,deceptively seems like the correct shape to grab but it has to many evolved defenses. What made me try,was I just hungry,curious bored, delirious ,arrogant.Shall I try again,have I learned anything maybe I'll try probably,maybe I'll succeed,it was entertaining...

It is only my perception that confuses me

See

Now that your realizing the length of the race you should be able to adjust the pace,accordingly.immediately readily easily.Maybe slow down a stride or two its easier to look around and figure out what to do ,speed is pressure and seldom anyone enjoys that for to long.Time to think and make a good decision, maybe less chance you'll get it wrong.Or maybe not ha good luck.

God no

Another Friday,another beer ,I'm fortunate today just to be here I could be in Haiti where a hard life has turn to worse horror and crazy,I sit here and shed a tear I can only cry from my right eye I must keep the left one clear to be ready to see if or when its my turn to be turned upside down,such anguish I can only pretend to believe and understand.I can not ,I can not understand...

Terri Obrien

I saw them at the rendezvous up state N.Y.the biggest private party in the world no police no colors just sisters and brothers do what you want be who you feel you got to be...if you been there you know what I mean,,,be free people your brother T...

The redezvous

I'll see you then you'll be my friend we shall meet at the rendezvous .There will be music and free spirits flying all still smiling,realizing its often all ok if you let it be, if the anger you kiss it goodbye then set it free,So again I will see you there then,at the rendezvous where we shall smoke and drink and sing with other kindred spirits and dabble in the little extra joy they should bring.We will hear it,others have sang about it, I've heard them sing i've seen them and the joy and emotion it brings at such inter active gatherings I will see you when...

No talent

I'm older now ,wired ,tired,fed up, strung out, worn down, seen too many pop idols, solved too many riddles ,still no closer to satisfied, too tired to struggle, still got my hands tied.Waiting for the bridge to give, life is fair because we all get one life to live, nobody is happy, the richest are dead, the poorest ain't fed, the middle freak always got a beef,everybody hoping for some relief, waiting for the break, hoping for some slack,never remain calm never react to a sudden change ,try to sustain strange, always entertain the thought of another newer different day...

Fragile handle with care

You said it

First or last the future is past cannot deny that I'd like to ask you to go fishing then maybe a swim a scenic walk maybe just sit a bit kill some time share some mind a little rap then some lunch and maybe a nap all in the name of playing it sane.Listening to music trying not to confuse it with enthusiasm,optimism or getting back at em,Its all to brief,don't need any instant relief still got some time,and a little rhythm,hope to be kind,all is forgiven for giving it my all...