New year?

Stranger things have occurred,stranger than even me.The ever present past that remains all too clear to see.Do you remember when,no you weren't there ,in fact I was alone except for a few friends,I sometimes bend the truth a little some mistakes you can not mend.You try to pay restitution but this only adds confusion to the sometimes lies and alibis you've been using.Try to not look back,only look forward and try to attack the right things the future may hold and only fate can bring.Don't look back...

Your Season

Its a big game and there are no timeouts remaining there have been a lot of injuries there aren't many players left. I'm still in the game but my knees are shot. I can't run full speed but I can still catch a pass like the last pass that I caught.Everybody tries but nobody can stop the clock.The QB calls the hail Mary play but it never works anymore.It is cold out,the water has turned to ice,those on the sidelines aren't even watching ,they don't care that they are losing the game, it seems this game means nothing anymore, theres little fun had by anyone, the refs are all in prison, the bookies made their money,the spectators have been given, money for their livin' .The coaches look grim,they took the heat for the losing season, they have run out of excuses, they have run out of reasons.They all may be fired,the oldest retired.The youngest stays on he still has desire.The buzzer sounds ,all cross the field on that frozen ground,the game is over,all now lay down...

The code

I'll signal you low ,it will be our underground code no one should know, it will be brief ,as always discrete ,I'll show it just once as you pass me by, just a half gesture response a blink of an eye, ready set go ,goodbye...like a hi wave on the highway or a low wave on the byways ,I chose the low wave like the old days, its still the old ways that out lives the new craze, for me its lifelong not just some middle aged drunk phase, wait em out till they're played,back to fade...

Celebrating time sitting above it all where I thought I should always be it just like they say lonely held captive by liberty thought of fellow companions suddenly realize I do or don't need em' time to think freedom from security sitting near the brink from extinction devising reasons to complete deletion of continual reaching,for straws waiting for that pause that confuses the crowd still singing quietly not out loud,sorry for whatever I'm sorry for.Just be aware don't care if you care never again will you fare so well...

suck it up sucker

As always I am tested holiday, today ,anytime every time.Hurt me, push me, desert me,always a sucker punch, I look away for just a moment without fail, a terrible crunch I never even peek, thought I had no need to seek, the truth of the dangers that surely do lie ahead in the shadows, bad luck often follows me can't ever see or even ever be free of the usual uncertainty, I'll catch my breath I'll survive the rest of my test, so go ahead hit me with your best, I love the attention chaos with no prevention acceptance without retaliation survival my only goal...

snow all over the place wind shredding my frozen face uncontrolled shivering giving me a headache running out of patience living in this state too broke to move to scared to run don't even know where really to find the melted sun wtf haha dreaming of a white sand christmas

Mooch

Alone from the beginning, struggling mostly, alone begging for food till its all gone ,had a stepper to help raise me then they too were gone .I had to struggle from the beginning then struggle all along. Left home at sixteen had to. had no home scene ,only had a vision to follow a dream, dreams fade and bad times remain but all in all kept my chin up your are who you are and I somehow seamed to be nice,nice felt right, it seemed to keep me in the game there were some good moments,they're the best they are the ones I remember they stand out from the rest, the sad ones seem to just blend like a long slow song ,but the good ones are like a dance, fast brief and happy. A fresh rhythm, a fresh lively beat, it feels so good makes it all complete.Then there were the children to keep me company.To occupy my days and humor me at night, they helped with chores they made things alright,now I think there are more good times than bad less frowns more scowls less sad,it continues it is my life...

12169

Again I breathe and heave a heavy sigh I have precious few memories which is why I seldom lie.One day bleeds into the next Its not confusing time and ambition are neck and neck both are losing I hope, maybe its not to late to save me, maybe if you say to me ,maybe.How about you what pace is your game? what price have you paid to remain practically the same or sane withdrawing to save face to maybe one day clear your name.Good luck goodbye good gain.

Patience

Once went along knew nothing new, sought and shared, it was all you could do, it was you,you had no choice thou you did think it through, it is fate so it must not be to late for all to transpire, there is some time left till you hit the wire, try if you will to decipher the desire ,you may realize your not wise to empathize with the unknown the less shown stick with your own homegrown its all often a safer journey thou less interesting,educational or rewarding to be off on your own, hang on,be strong life is not too long, your right if your wrong ,be strong...

My friend T

Let them figure their own destiny keep them away from your reality never take pain personally,truth is only what you make of it,its not the truth if its a lie its only a lie if you can't deny because nobody really know anything so always deny everything,your friend T

Strobe life

temptation is all in the timing,frustration from no connection to a condition I once understood before I was cured and then freed to again roam the wild plains of Africa all alone desperately seeking the reasons I am drawn to begin a journey I had previously journaled away yet again a journey I once did and still do believe in.

countdown

To tell a new tale of time one would wait feeling excited insecure not completely sure of what I'm waiting for,still wishing wondering waiting not hesitating trying not to hard to expect to much trying to keep it real trying to keep in touch with reality sanity playing down my vanity but still curious delirious seeking the awareness of the mysterious and so I wait,tick tick tick...

Happen

I was not searching for anything I was surrounded by love from my friends and my family. At times I have found daisies ,sometimes in small groups sometimes alone, always I am surprised and maybe just a bit happier then only a moment before.If ever I've looked for them I've never found them intentionally, always happen on them by accidental coincidence.You are a daisy to me. A rare and welcome surprise .You stand alone your face to the sun your eyes opened wide, bright and smiling a welcome relief, an inviting sight I will enjoy your fragrance,I shall join you with a smile we shall enjoy the sunshine together and share wine in this summer whether or not we should or shall not live for a short while or live on forever.Just us two in this sun in this weather...

Happy

Welcome December the darkest month of the northern hemisphere ,Your color brown with hints of white,A month of holiday to help disguise the now resounding bleakness, Talk of a new year a new beginning ,hope for the future ,yet we are only given the present,any excuse to help distract from the harsh realities of winter, a seasonal haven for a malcontent...

Liers

Ah ha happy holiday,glad you could make it, I didn't think you cared, suddenly your here,sharing in the festivities such good feelings you share with me welcome home and merry go fuck yourself. Whoa what the fuck do you want this time, I got no money for you, you bled me dry.Hit the bricks bitch ,don't care anymore if you cry, tears are cheap memories are free ,freedom ain't easy but it suddenly suits me, beats me where you should go or what you should do,get along ,go on just be gone,oh and happy new year to you too,now let me introduce you to the tip of my shoe...

Why

You did wish me well you always knew the right things to say you even said the sweetest things the day you had to go away you always made me feel ok your a hero to me all that consideration such a unique awareness of how to comfort not just me but so many in so many ways,so I'll use today to say thank you...

Thanks anyway

Waiting ,waiting, passing time, trying to realize why somehow I have been allowed this opportunity to describe some ancient passions that lie deep inside this psyche, I know as my mind,which I believe to be often associated with most others and their own questions why.Good news I have nothing new to say we often are comforted by what we already know and spooked by what we do not so no boos today.Fear not, you all know ,all you need to know,no surprises ,maybe tomorrow. Happy tday

The river

I've seen rivers run I've seen em flow watched in the spring when they would overflow,watched them In the winter when under the ice it would go.It always finds a way, it has a purpose, it feeds wildlife ,its marks the time of the land ,and it soothes the mind of this mortal man.It never asks you questions ,it won't bother you if you leave it be .It speeds and it slows on its way to the sea .How many years have you flowed?How many gallons how many reasons you have collected the same many seasons ?Your before me ,always there for me,I'm sure long after me,I saw you and you never knew me.You tricked me ,made me swim you didn't care it was winter when some how you drew me near then threw me in.Bravo my oldest friend again and again you win.We had fun,still you run I'll see you a few more times probably, never am I too sure ,I'll walk away you'll run the same way day after day you got to go and I can't stay...

yo b-day

Roses are red like the friggan hair on your head now go out of course no drinking ,guess you got to smoke some kind of stuff instead haha ,nuff said,oh ya the cops don't care its your birthday,so ah um happy birthday,just a glass of warm milk then straight to bed...

Awash

In the summer when the weather is hot its not long till the ponds dry up exposing mud and dead leaves.There is no more mystery of what is down beneath the surface it is all plain to see.So now we see and now we know what has come and gone before us.Now together we shall wait for fresh water to wash away our truths and help disguise our failures and recreate our mystique and our mysteries ,hide our dead leaves and drown dreams,fear not,it never fails the rain again shall fall...

Oh yea

Remember them,remember when,there you are a friend of a friend,some are no longer here some are nearly dead,some of us linger on long enough to write another song, even if its our last song even if its our last thought, complaint ,hallucination, scream or cry,the last tear we nearly shed, left to ask only one more question ,why or not don't really care just know not why or how but that I or we are still truly here. I didn't really know you then ,thats just because, I don't know if I'll know you now or if it is a just cause.Its all right still good to see you in this sudden light...

Tking

I'm a fool just like all the rest,maybe even more so than some but I sure had fun,and I intend to have some more,thats what all the working was for and it beats the hell out of none.

When old friends make amends is it a new beginning or a continuation of the end?People don't change but patience levels do could I ever still be patient enough to still be friends with you?

Begin

Solo expression film at eleven, I'll grant the interview if you give me a confession,no need for facts that just confuses the truth, lie like a baby thats the beauty of youth, tell me just the funny parts the rest may bore me, no need to know about broken hearts,please do not implore me.You may now begin then wake me when its over.Unless you amuse me I'll be under cover.waiting for yet another opportunity to claim immunity from life's misfortunes,and hidden beauties.

Thats right you found me mr. write.

shit

Walking down that road,been down it before,same old potholes getting deeper in worn out soles. Sometimes I trip, seems nothing is ever fair. Just got complacent, guess I don't anymore care.Could walk around or maybe run away, but it all still catches up with you on some other day.Complacency embraces me, I deal with it ,its ok .I swore that one day, one time ,I would just walk the other way. Just not today.Today I'll walk back down that road,I may fall It won't kill me I'll get back up,I may limp but I'm still strong, I know this road ,I hate this road,this road increases my load ,my burden in this life,still I meet new people,maybe not good people,but still a few people,so ,so long ,I'm down the road...

Transitional mayhem thats the way I see it

now

At last

Then suddenly there was a tree towering mightily over me,I had barely noticed it before now it stands a hundred feet above the forest floor.Somehow I did not see the tree in the forest,it always stood there and flourished,the fertile soil had nourished a sapling that shot up to the sky and thou it stood in front of me, how I'm not quite sure, someway it deceived my eye, hiding behind grand old trees that were already quite mature.Where did it go,that chipmunk I thought I used to know . It came to me for food near the base of that young tree,I would feed it, it never stayed for long, would just eat and quickly get along,well I do wonder.And where are all the birds that sang without any words,they too ate the bread that too that chipmunk I often fed,seemingly they have all fled.Guess now its just too cold.And the squirrel is ready for winter,it has worked tirelessly to prepare for this yearly encounter.Nature and evolution help, with a winter fur, double thick a warm and velvety pelt.Then the great furry caterpillar,black and auburn the last to go,don't know what becomes of him when it starts to snow.All players in position its about to change the condition, of life as we now know.Winter has arrived it is no longer disguised as mild or nice,it reveals its true intentions and covers all with pain and ice . On your marks get set and go...

You've heard it maybe once before maybe I'm not quite sure,not to sure of why I bother any more.

whatever

Machinery abusing greenery, it almost seems obscene ,yet there will be no end to the to the forward regress.The human animal will never surrender,never give in to the diminished lifestyle that we've been trying so long to avoid when we travel to friends at the end of the earth, continually giving birth to more offspring more crazy ideas,unafraid of our fears of dieing to soon,unsheltered from space in the shadow of the moon,endless excuses our so called saving grace to many warnings we've been given, still will never change our living styles our lack of faith all with a smile nearing the end of this man's human race...

Time

Well well its been awhile,where mentally have you been,what kind of encounter have you been avoidin Its been annoying trying to conjure up conversation with you from my memory.I know it sounds funny but I'm half mad, from you ,at you,because of you.You eluded me you deceived me you confused me ,that was easy.And you used me that was ok I enjoyed the company every day ,when you get this letter maybe then you'll understand why I wear my heart on my sleeve and hold my head in my hand.If you don't get this ha then everything is status quo you just go on pretending or maybe you really didn't know,I'm lonely and I'm bleeding it seems only a little time and consideration is all I've been needing I'm desperate I will wait,just till your response I will try to be patient,but at times patience magnifies sadness but I will wait,theres little alternative,I will try to remain sane for sanities sake...

heyyyyyyyyyy wake the fuck up.................lol................

beat

Hidden thoughts,random admissions, guilt without feelings been a long time since I walked with you.Took another chance,took a final stance never cared to dance when the music stopped.I preferred to walk and walking is what I still do.Not over too,not around or through maybe alongside you maybe alone.Maybe just walk on home.Same old song,at least I know the words maybe ad lib a verse or two,name that tune,sing each song,leave real soon,keep moving on.

note to self

Still don't know why when I hear that song I just wanna cry.Why does music stir our soul stimulate brain chemicals whatever the brand of your rock or roll.A memory, a fantasy somehow perceived as a fantastic reality.Adrenalin pumping heart thumping body moving somehow soothing ,visual emotion primitive communication.Just don't know just let it flow.

To me

November turkey day birthdays color of blue gray,earth tones and wooden homes and the visitors all gone away.Surreal natural feel,lost in the woods steel to cold to hold cat o nine tails lose their shape and slowly wither away.First ice on the pond Indian summer definitely gone,the woods grow quiet except the crackle sounds of the first camp fire.One cold beer,too cold for two.Time is slowing down.Daylight drifting away.Shadows mostly in my mind.Stray from the pack,enjoy the lonely moment then sneak on back.Thats how I remember my November.

Fore you

Were you waiting ,its alright,contemplating its alright ,its your day your moment to shine in your beautiful life.You've helped so many,time after time.Don't ever kid yourself your not alone.You spend your time trying during trying times,I don't just say it because it rhymes,its true I don't completely understand,I seldom do,but I got witnesses words on the street.Have a calm day,look them in the eye then look away.Take no for an answer,then just dance down the road.Don't look back,a pillar of salt goes nowhere,thats not you,I know. and so I"m told.

wax figures

what is time but an opinion for change and variation its alway the same time ,time has never changed only you and everything has

what is time but an opinion for change and variation its alway the same time time has never changed only you and everything has

314

Just for today,I won't let it bother me,wont let it lead me astray.Will wonder why,won't want to really know,which is the real reason you didn't want to go.I went and you stayed,did not see much reason to celebrate the holiday.Without you there the room seemed so bare,I sat alone un bothered by others

Wander

A small man a hobbit of sorts, small strides wandering kicking sticks rustling leaves traveled great distances with great determination.Steady progress no emotion his life's mission his hair thinning and unkept.Dirt under his fingernails ,callused hard working hands.Where is he going with such unwavering determination.It seems his girlfriend had been bitten by a wolf the night before,and he was going to teach those wolfs what for.In his good hand he carried a dry stick,a club of sorts,he let it dangle loosely yet ready to strike.On he went.Around is neck a satchel in it some food and meager supplies.He will be able to build a fire,and look for the reflection of their eyes.He will search for a day and a night,if nothing else he will instill an awareness and make known his presence.Such lack of fear almost reckless,its getting cooler now.He will need some food,no sign of the wolves he shall stop before darkness and nap,eat build a fire then pear into the night.

10-32

No need for further deceiving,your leaving,I'm grieving,soon my eyes will start bleeding,salty tears my lifeline receding my simplest fears all coming true,my endless inspiration ending with you.Soon you'll disappear,tomorrow by noon off in the wild blue.My next rhymes will be simplified to a waltz like times,1 2 3, 1 2 3 just let me be just let me be...

Got to

Alas the final wait,the final poker hand,in this solitaire poker game .Finally I think I got a straight,no one has tried to read the expression on my face.Though foolishly I raise,always played the long shot sadly I've never known what they got,or how great the loss.I know its time to fold this hand, probably the game.The choice has been made for me,I have no more chips to play,I am asked to leave,insecurity escorts me away...

AMF

So long see you later,thats if I wait or, have nothing else going on any better.If I can't wait it ain't so wrong ,you ain't the first ,the best or the the worst thing to happen to me,you just happened to be the more interesting of the previous three.So go on get along,you can be the third word in the fourth line of my first next song,I think its weird.Acceptance never felt like rejection,time was never wasted, my mind never hesitated to think of you.Your view of whats what and who's who.Made me think,wonder,contemplate then create, if only to help me endure the endless questions of why and what am I doing this for.There is no end,only change,a verse a chapter,a new rule in the game.First string, second strung,third waiting what started the game,where did all this come from?So still I wait,unless I can't,thats the fate...

Oh yeah

I had wandered into the same field that I played in years before .When I was young ,a kid shooting arrows into the sky,flying kites,running for no apparent reason,laying in the thick grass,watching clouds go by.The only thing different today is that I more so,I realize what I had and what I had lost.Time surely, simplicity and a sense of complete satisfaction.I went back to that field to revisit those feelings.To help me understand simple complete emotions that were once close at hand.It was real I immediately began to recall young feelings, think young thoughts,but then again became bored and realized,and maybe or maybe not,understood why I did move on.A feeling to me is like a candle when its gone it is gone.You may remember it,appreciate it,or just forget it.So time to move on find new feelings through friends happenings tragedies and the good as well.Ok to remember maybe not to dwell.

presents

The posers the wannabes the fair weather riders the liars and those who aspire to talking not living, receiving not giving to the forward movement of their being just staying ,accepting what others been saying ,leave it all to hope and praying,not doing then confusing reminiscing with forward thinking, excuses with with reasons.Pretending for believing.Well no more ,don't know what your waiting for.Never made a move unless you were completely sure of the meaning of the reason for what you were doing it for. Yesterday was another day that sadly passed away,but tomorrow too is another day,so they say,so I guess it has to be today right now, you know what it is, what you have to do to live,just one thing for sure,one thing right now,what are you waiting for.One thing right now...

hello

Suddenly it was all so clear no more cloudy judgment clarity come with freedom and a lack of care seldom during frantic obligations do you notice the water in the clouds the smiles on the faces of the sweltering gathering crowds.Stop to smell the flowers hell stop to find the flowers.Just stop and look around.Theres bound to be more trouble sure,but it to will pass on by,to reveal the sparkle in ones eye high frequency blue like the color of the sky,nod your head and smile,smirk grin,go numb relax release that inner child,have fun with the notion that you might be ok and it is ok,maybe you weren't wrong all along or you weren't right its all ok its all alright.Have a nice day...Have a good night...

what the

A dummy for Christmas thats what I'll be for Halloween a green costume painted face high blood alcohol level a little color for the cheeks maybe carry a baseball bat for authenticity what am I ,a survivor,a runner a ducker a hider a baseball bat swinging face smashing alcohol drinking loser,or a hobo,lol

all saints

Do you can you remember another again from way back when?Um well let me see,I once dress up as samurai bellushi I was so proud graduated from hobo saw 3oz at the sons of Italy ha,wtf.maybe nineteen that was the last time I dressed up,yeah I'm a lot of fun.

treat?...TOT

Hmmm trying to remember perhaps trick or treating,been a long time.Was usually grounded around then.Oh yeah cold coughing dressed in baggy cloths a hobo I guess.And apple huh guess that was a trick,pennies got it, another trick should have just passed me a note that said egg my house please.Happy times not really.Hand out the candy smile wave goodbye,drudgery.A final plea in the final stage of misery.Winter is bearing down,eat that candy get a bellyache a razer blade in the apple would have been an opportunity a blessing in disguise.Urban legend,a sign from heaven,no film at eleven.Hope you had more fun.,cause this young hobo barely had some...

My awareness of your being satisfies my need for existence...

teasing is a reason to believe in santa clause and the easter bunny again just like we did back when all was sweet and innocent before all our sins to repent

tough

the past is unobtainable,the future is inexplainable and the present i just don't understand

finale

Its good for you but there will be hell to pay.Its your last chance of the past minute to change your mind and walk away.Maybe you should run cause the gate is closing and your choices are becoming one and with a little less time you'll be down to none.This is it what do you say.Get along or stay and play and get along...

re

Back from beyond I grimace at the thought,the uncertainty, day to day the menacing possibilities along the way.I turn to you briefly then look away,A wink a smile a reassuring nudge,I tilt my head back and take a drink.I'm not afraid but often I am curious the unknown is mysterious with or without fear.Its normal acceptable unchangeable,a constant in the world of variables and disappointments.I shall return ,you too will return ,visit with the family visit with reality then return to insanity.Its always different with you and the same with me.

Doldrum

The moment was a fleeting catastrophe ,a brief exploding flash,a celebration in nano exploration good things are often brief before we can understand them,realize their simplicity,become bored, then annoyed ,if your bored go find something new.Don't ask me what,go find it then come tell me about it,write about it sing it paint it.

Entangled misconceptions providing illicit misguided directions

It seams like a lifetime perhaps its not the right time its been such a long time, its alright if its the wrong time but sometimes anything will do anytime its all I write if it'll rhyme maybe incomprehensible if it leaves me with my empty basket full I won't follow any rules till I understand my fellow fools carrying their buckets of envier's drool learned it all then left it all back in school green for the environment weeds peeking through cured cement green with envy of the green on the other side the pride of the young and the silly songs they have written but have left yet to be sung reaching for the first rung believing in kung the king of nothing to do first filled it up finally enough hadn't seen it before my first overfilled cup,giddy up...

a toast

Just a chair a floor some beer a pen a past presently confused permanently observed for later dissection at the institute of useless reality where currently there resides the most advanced minds of any previous time High speed rambling like freestyle singing channeling vocalizing bringing back to life some spirits gripes helping the living realizing the pain has sustained since the day we stood upright and sauntered away cheers

then

Searching or not, waiting or not, inspiration may come or not..It was an amazing collision of emotion confusion and pictures and music generations three all coming together captivating me capturing me taunting yet releasing me and those who have gone before me to rest in peace for eternity I fled in disparity when drinking of course not a rarity still an emotional undeniable bitch slap of reality.Well done son, son of the son that that continues the run on memories through old photos older music and current confusion...

hang me

Don't believe me I'm an illusion spewing so much bullshit to create confusion to get a confession to put any recent growth of your being into a recession join the ranks of the confused the permanently bruised emotional beings that weren't or surely shouldn't have been attentive to me for to you myself I misrepresented my intentions so many details I failed to mention about myself the secrets I hide in me never to come out no matter how drunk or mad or how loud I shout or what my level of dissension.Well maybe one tune in tomorrow maybe I'll share wont that be fun

lapse

Led Zeppelin and Harpoon beer and you are here with me though your not actually here,fantasy fantastic moments forever crystal clear they are all here actually, spiritually jimmy Robert jones john me and you twelve strings to you to me we sing loudly proudly excitedly happily frantically softly fantastically friendly more drink more fun more songs intensely intently expressively truthfully forever till just prior to never ever again.All still forever friends.Kites flying soaring tones boring into my soul my psyche feelings can't be told just crazy words to help you feel and to understand the unexplainable feeling close at hand brain chemical psychedelics sustain this cherished relic which is my mind on vacation....

sqeak

Those tree frogs make such a racket not subtle like a cricket singing in the thicket but more like a lion without the base like a tree branch squeaking or an old branch breaking they get their point across I can tell you that one thing, its like finger nails on a chalkboard or the high ten strings on a harpsichord or the tires screeching on a hot rod Ford as annoying as this damn poem, damn frogs lol

No deal

Such a fantasy I cannot believe how do I comprehend this crazy notion you have conceived we are no longer together you are a great memory time has pushed you away it is ok sure I'll have a fantasy about you but we won't be alone There will be other ex lovers wind and stars maybe definitely fast cars will I kiss you there,what gave you that idea,the past sure,the past is gone lose the fantasy get a grip acknowledge reality the wind blows and its just cold talk is cheap and I'm too old I to shall be just moving on...

eva

I'm pissed and annoyed there became a certain situation I just couldn't avoid.You see there was this woman I knew before I was employed she used to sing to me she set my soul free.So much time now has passed I miss those siren songs that helped me along through the tough and disappointing times she would sing and share her wine.I never saw her again I guess she figured I no longer needed a friend to spend time with.Found a job,found my way she moved along she moved away.I miss her.She's surely found a new audience to whom her songs she could dispense who need her sensual gift for their failure they can't defend.She prays for weak and she preys on meek,it fulfills her days and completes her weeks.Just grow strong and she will move on.She a winner though she does not compete.I miss her streak,I miss her songs...

Holiday Park

Going out by the swamp,its been some time,the serenity ,the birds ain't seen no gators lately.Maybe fish,have a smoke ,drink a tall beer.Its been awhile I feel like I'm already there.Watch the folks as they launch them boats ,crazy big engines its a wonder they float.Not many bugs in the fall seems like the fish ate good all summer and plum killed them all.There will be some bikers talkin the talk how if they didn't have a bike they would rather walk.Theres peacocks and cats,pain in the back raccoons digging through the trash,looking for this and that.Then there will be something crazy amazing, there always is.maybe some strange creature in the back of a truck,or someone fishing for food cause they're down on their luck.Its a people watchin show there ain't no admission I ain't denying I just got to go.

Sigh

I walked out the door ,suddenly I was bored. I've walked out that door too many times before.It was not a vague feeling I was sure, it never hit me quite like this before.I was surprised though I don't know why, obviously a long time coming. I opened that door and walked right into a wall.A smooth running situation,then a sudden stall.Theres no anxiety no frustration no hatred disappointment or aggravation.Theres nothing,no air no fear no care.I guess I'll just hesitate then wait,take a little rest,for it may soon all be straight, maybe a revamp,acquire some fresh oil to burn in the lamp that lit my way all along till this, this very empty day.

why?

Do yo like a nice fire in the winter,sitting on the couch with a friend drinking warm cider,or coming in from the cold feet wet glad to get the boots off have hot cocoa watch a movie eat a pizza did you ever think that maybe winter sucks..haha move fools...

fall

Fall autumn ,apples pumpkins Oktoberfest at the Harpoon brewery,first frost beautiful disguise for soon all is lost

Fallen

Fall autumn ,apples pumpkins Oktoberfest at the Harpoon brewery,first frost beautiful disguise for soon all is lost.Lost light ,lost hope future happiness surrounded my a moat Good lord is that a swelling in my throat those tonsils they don't like change ,I'll be coughing soon that should last till June,not to strange been this way since the very first day,I stepped into this world,hope to see it all unfurl into something nice good,manageable little likelihood of that ever happening to me I could not ever see until until oh yea,I moved away,hip hip hooray.Now fall comes yes it does its subtle don't need to be hit like a two by four across the face,knock me to the floor, it arrives softly civilized less sweltering heat the shadows change theres a little less daylight but nothing insane.Hmm beach or golf today,either will do can't complain.Ah yes fall.Eight more perfect months till the sweltering heat of summer returns.Like my old southern friend would say,you may have won the war but we got the best part of the country...

Kiss

Your face that look puzzled yet sincere young pretty,absolutely almost concerned,don't worry it'll all work out,then of course get worse thats life.Sure you deserve better most do but pretend your getting smarter after the stressful thing your going through.Your still young theres a long way to go you'll do fine I see it in your eyes I felt it in your soul.You defended me you looked out for me you showed compassion for me I am thankful and quite pleased it was something of a test and you passed it with ease,its all gonna be ok,you'll see

Low cal

Hangin' at the Hard Rock eating pizza watching people what a trip I'm not saying I would'nt be just as interesting looking I'm just saying they're quite interesting and the pizza who'd a thunk how Indians could make pizza just like NY Italians ,forget a bout it what a freakin coincidence.Da pepes an interesting amount of body fat,cigarette a blaze and a drink.The attire makes me look like a sharp dresser.Not a compliment.What a trip.

sorry

Is there a god?I don't know will I live to be old?I don't know.Will there be total natural disaster ?I don't know.So many questions so little same fuck%$# answer.I don't know what I don't know but I do know that I don't know what I don't know.Ya know?See what did there?I wasted your time and I intend to do it again.

welcome to New York

I go down the subway a rat runs by,how cliche' the musty smell mixed with pine pitch from the ties , the rat would have been wise to move to the countryside where there would have been a better chance to survive.Yet he stays, to him its the maze of the subway that presents a challenge for him to find his way.Check out this tunnel and that,make a turn this curios rat.Here comes a train it does not try to avoid him,it appears quite insane.But this is life in the tunnels,steel wheel sparks, screeching screams mechanical noises dim headlight beams,blue flashes,electric third rail,my old New York buddy called it the iron snail.taking the "A" train to a scary place ,three days, I was gone.To many two legged rats, I was to white to be wrong on the wrong train on the wrong tracks on the wrong side in the wrong city, the newspaper lied, as much as I tried to fit in,it was a pity,I could not hide this silly white boy grin.Fed up with the fear and the punks and their guns ridin that train weren't no fun...

another day

So you caught a flight and you flew away left me here to party today,so long good luck give me a call if you really get stuck.Should have, could have at least called me let me know you arrived I know its silly to let me know your alive.A text here and a text there hows the dirty weather as if I care.All is well well thats just swell text me good news that I can share.Sounds good be careful au revoir, take care.

different day

More days and days I'm running some errands for you I must be bored.Limited conversations .I think but don't worry, but do wonder,no hurry.A few more chores I'll do you for,then its over.mission complete, do and repeat,never give up never retreat.It takes amazing strength and endurance to be this weak.I think an extreme and enlightening time you obviously had .I am simply convinced .We have had such little communication still ,and I haven't seen you since, that silly day just prior to you flying away.Day by day week by week as in the past I get a gradual peek, but only a peek into the missing mission that lasted so many weeks.The info you know you just let bleed so slow to me,till of course eventually I'm covered in your words,new realities and truths,tide won't get this out I'm amused enthused enraged then turn the page but never turn away.Forever here to stay like a great stone growing more brittle with age,forever sitting, set in my ways.Never sharing expression never showing pain.But remember we did share one silly fun day...

almost

I checked on line and found the info, you felt you desperately needed to know,Now you had to decide if you could afford to or really needed to go.I went to your house to help you catch a flight of course you were not ready you drank all night now you were slowed down I could not help you really, so we sorta just drove around it was no longer early.We took bets had no regrets and shared cigarettes.I bet you would not make it I won.So i took you home you stayed on the phone we went to the bank I thought it was a prank you needed money I thought it too funny no flight today maybe in two days off to L.A. still it was a funny day we gave it a shot ,then I simply drove away, ready we were not...

welcome

I go down the subway a rat runs by,how cliche' the musty smell mixed with pine pitch from the ties , the rat would have been wise to move to the countryside where there would have been a chance to survive.Yet he stays, to him its the maze of the subway that presents a challenge for him to find his way.Check out this tunnel and that,make a turn this curios rat.Here comes a train it does not try to avoid him,it appears quite insane.But this is life in the tunnels, metal sparks screeching screams mechanical noises dim headlight beams,blue sparks ,electric third rail,my old New York buddy called it the iron snail.Thee A train to a scary place ,three days, I was gone.To many two legged rats, I was to white to be wrong on the wrong train on the wrong tracks on the wrong side in the wrong city the newspaper lied, as much as I tried to fit in it was a pity I could not hide this silly white boy grin.Fed up with the fear and the punks and their guns ridin that train weren't no fun...

some day

It was a silly day ,it started early when you called me to ask me questions I could not answer.But that was just the prelude to draw me in,and draw me in it did.Now I was out of bed,and last nights alcohol still messin with my head Wasn't quite sure if I was sleeping, dreaming or half dead.Wait let me make some calls I'll get back to you when...

kinky killer

Spiders, amazing interesting devastating death may be slow but the job will get done,the bite the poison, asphyxiation , parallelization rotting flesh certain death tied up molested little struggle total domination never an escape,never a happy ending...

Sally and Sammy squirrel lived high above the world.They lived in their house made out of dead leaves that they picked from the tops of giant oak trees

Freddy the fearless firefly flicked his light as he flew on by,I think he just wanted to say hi!

I would have no fear,if perhaps I purchased a pair of purple panda bears with their soft fluffy and puffy purple hair.I could hug them and hold them that would be so nice,and if I wanted too I could hug them twice.And if my tummy hurt I could make it end just by hugging and holding my fluffy and puffy purple panda friends.

Italian bug philosophy

Once a little brown butterfly asked Vito the mosquito,why can we fly and Vito mosquito replied,because we have wings.There are wings on all flying things,like airplanes and bees that sting and even birds that sing.Just then Billy the baseball landed nearby then rolled up to Mr. Brown butterfly and looked him square in the eye and said I have no wings but sometimes I fly,and my friend Frieda the Frisbee,she can fly really high,so what does he know,he's just a mosquito...

it does happen

I feel like a giant and the world is Lilliputian to me, all it took was a recipe of three,Guinness some rain a perfect workday amazing music and my insecurities

seen

Lovers strolling along hand in hand,laughing so silly as only they can,staggering lazily in the soft white sand,telling little jokes only they understand,as innocent as children thou she a woman and hes a man.They're in love...

80's foster child

Kosila Kumari she don't drive Ferrari she don't play Atari but she a happy little girl,Its hard to believe and easy to deceive she lives in the same different world .Shes different than we thats easy to see her mind isn't cluttered with the lust of luxury.She has her fun when her chores are done and learning good new things in school.She has real dreams ,and she is the way she seems cause she's no monies fool.Shes a happy little girl on me she can depend,for my love I will send cause she's my precious little friend living half way around the world...

Perception

This to me says there is only a beginning all exciting and a bitter end.It didn't tell you about the midday sun and how it may get so hot you might need a little shade.But you may have to search for shade.It may feel good for awhile and thats good.But then it may get a little bit cold.Just remember outside the sun is still there,bright warm and beautiful.So if you want you can come out of the shade and enjoy more of the warmth and the rest of the day.But if you wait too long in the shade,the sun may set,and when you come out of the shade you will find only darkness and it will be much colder than before,and what a terrible loss it will be to only have enjoyed the morning of such a beautiful day.

whoa

I remember possibly a Saturday around the end of February, Maybe overcast but bright.Wet streets ,sand left over from snow, winter is not over but it has grown weary.I am about twelve years old.I'm wearing boots green rubber water proof as hell but not exactly Rockport walking shoes.I went into a fish store where they sold pet fish. I remember they had beautiful yellow tropical fish in a salt water aquarium.I think they cost like seventy five dollars back then that would be about 1.6 million dollars now.But I remember how much I wanted them and how cool and beautiful they were.I would visit them several times before spring came and helped me to forget them.Such a feeling of desire and euphoria they gave me even now so many years later though I don't want them any longer and the feeling and the innocent ability to have such feelings is long gone its somewhat of a vivid memory I have lost the feelings but have retained the appreciation of them...just another fish story...

slime rhymes

Cedric the slug was an unhappy thug because he was too slimy to give him a hug,and he wasn't pretty like Missy the prissy ladybug. Surely sincere Cedric was seemingly sad.He longed for friends he never had.He seriously pursued friendship in the morning dew.He slimed along humming to himself a simple sad song.I feel so sad cause I'm not so bad.I feel like I'm the only friend I've ever had.Poor Cedric.Suddenly he sought a shape that he thought was a snail slug like himself,but it was just a rock,partially covered by a sock.The seldom seen snail slug dilly dallied across the dew on the early morning lawn,just an hour or so before the crack of dawn.Cedric left his trail then sadly slowly he was gone.

the

A spirit so free at least thats how it seems to me seemingly strong determined intellectual eccentric well versed, rehearsed in most every situation a unique relation to a variety of diversified human classifications but a simple awareness of this simple sub par aberition sharing this realistic situation

f5 goodbye

Quickly sped away, this is ridiculous ,I can still feel the rage,I am tired I need a rest,perhaps be arrested.I am paranoid cause I don't know how much time is left.I speed up ,then I slow down, driving in the darkness I feel no feeling of success ,all those victorious feelings are now repressed, still I motor along contemplating extreme accelerating,I start hyperventilating,I feel exhilarated hopelessly frustrated still I accelerate faster and faster, a faint light up ahead. I'm aware I'm headed for eminent disaster.Outlines on the horizon ,in the darkness I could barely make out several cars across the road.Police I assume,theres little time and even less room,for me, the cars, and a tree. Still I accelerate and they wait to see, if I ,the psycho,am really that crazy.Such fools the verdict is in, I have chosen my destiny ,I display a satisfied grin.The crash must have been terrific,horrific prolific, metal and glass,combustible gas spewing fire,flames growing higher.The journey is done. I'm done with the run,a helluva run, and lastly the death of a despondent lonely sick twisted neglected abandoned forgotten son...

Sorry

Apology does not need to be sincere it merely suggests though we are jerks or not sometimes, we are at least civilized.

f4

Didn't ask for a wake up call didn't seem necessary,though surely they would come,they did not, I moved on.Went to a bar had me some beer ,considered my next move then staggered away from there,guess what I was seen by some cop just passing by,he then pulled me over and asked me why I would drink and drive I just smiled and reached for my gun,winked one eye and pulled the trigger he went for his gun but my gun was bigger.

f3

Another deal done sealed and on the run now I'm a silhouette in the setting sun five forty five then I'm done,I approach then arrive, I look good, I feel worse I can no longer outrun this constant curse . I seldom watch the tv It really does not suit me but this one time just by coincidence I caught a story It was morning now and the police had a lead then I got paranoid they drew a bead a bead on me. I guess I was lucky I fled Another hour surely I'd be dead.But now there is fear never before had I cared I feel the journey may end here.I rent a room I still have concerns the clerk says nothing important I go to my room,I'll get some rest they'll be coming soon...

wrong

What if my life is better than your life? What if my strife is less than your strife ,and i was aware that all for me is a delight,and for you nothing does go right would you hate me ?Would you want to degrade me upset me slay me put a hex on me reject me,deflect all that is misfortune ate at me.Good cause it is and you are and tough shit you deserve it,get over it,your a misfit so get a grip and deal with it.I have to admit I had nothing to do with it,yet one day I may start to slip and you may rise and and we will both be surprised then I'll be less despised,and I'll need the alibis then you'll play the wise and I will get a rest from the responsibilities of being the best then you'll learn life is not black and white or greener with envy how useless was your jealousy,the time you wasted hating me when you could have been doing something better...

fugitive 2

So its been six months the memory is faded to a comfortable level I owe the fade in pain to the comfort of the devil I built an altar to honor its name, true forgiveness it offers to me no punishment no regret just throw it away then forever forget,probably not perfect but its the best deal yet,still I'm uneasy time to move along load up the new bike then I'm gone leave the altar leave the pain and the shame all the evil thoughts I kept in its name.Five hundred forty five miles in any direction find a new town make some new connections then settle back down,but I gotta kill one time before i go cause I got a need for a reason to leave and something for later that I can later grieve.I give no details I tell no tales just that they tried to make it out,they failed.Now without hesitation I add acceleration to my departure to another great part of this great nation.

opened up so many porn windows that I finally got to one that i think was the pope on a web cam jerking off

Fugitive

Suddenly I realized I was about to be institutionalized so I tried to not look surprised as I quickly reached for my gun.One quick shot and I was no longer caught and shortly I was on the run.It was the 57 not the 54 that I needed before when I defended myself against that line cutting whore who up and down swore that I owed her money but I can't remember what the hell for.And there they were just dead on the floor,now my journey has begun.My first move that I usually use is to slowly drive away.I'll drive a long while to myself I will smile cause running away is always some fun. Twenty hours later I felt I was safe now I could get a job here then just wait. It was to close this time its more difficult to fool them all with those forensics and other crazy tricks I guess I'll just hang here,out in the sticks and find a simpler game to get my kicks.I'm not sure if I want to kill any more and I'm not really sure why the killing started before.Am I a myth or a legend I forget where it begins or if I have any friends or if this is where it ends again I'm not really sure.

hello

Your always there lurking in the shadows off on the side line I guess just doing your thing recreating the world or at least some little part of it. For a short time I did not see you I could not feel that slight aura that seems to surround you but now your back again excuse me did not mean to bother you I'll be just sitting over here if you need me

tv

Read

I read you, I see you, I want you, I need you, I feed you and you feed me
I crave you, I brave you, I follow you, I have to, I stay you and you stay me
One way, one day, await the replay, if you must, go away don’t be afraid
From me to you, do what it is you have to, sink to follow, think to respond,
I read you abstract, hollow, full and in time mine,maybe for now,tomorrow or beyond .You've touched me physically,spiritually,mentally, you continue to touch me with your words your hints your innuendos and the crescendos that ever grow in my mind that I hear loudly now and when I read between the the lines ,thats my favorite part ,I can manipulate the meanings to all be so sweet in my heart ,all about me when it is you that I read.My mind is dirt ,your words are seed ,soon grows abundant food on which my feelings may feed the words flow through my veins, cut me and stories I bleed I read you,and me you too read.......

I chant your name I sing your name I say your name I love your name,it excites me it amuses me it frightens me it soothes me I chant your name I use it as a refrain say it in vane it starts early in the morning it continues all day it slows only momentary in the evening then I hum it when I'm sleeping some how it always creeps in then it starts all over again in the mornin I chant your name ,its an endless game it always varies yet remains the same,I chant your name...

DATE SEPTEMBER EIGHT

T

Some smile,what a smile ,happy devious curios such teethe what a grin, what trouble have you seen what trouble have you been in?Every time I see you I see that grin again,either theres been , you've been in, or trouble is about to begin.Definitely all of the above,and somehow you look surprised. I see it in those eyes, they seen trouble and how.And if they ain't seen it before they're seeing it now.Cause I'm trouble,if you only had small troubles then your troubles just doubled,I aim to please I ain't no sleaze, but it maybe me I'm aiming to please and it ain't gonna be easy for me to please me,without a little help from you,so don't sweat it,cause I think you know what to do,you won't regret it even if you think it one time through.Cause I'm trouble see,and trouble usually starts with me.And now I see you and you see me,and it all started when you pulled me in with that

T

Some smile,what a smile ,happy devious curios such teethe what a grin, what trouble have you seen what trouble have you been in?Every time I see you I see that grin again,either theres been , you've been in, or trouble is about to begin.Definitely a little of both and somehow you look surprised. I see it in those eyes, they seen trouble and how.And if they ain't seen it before they're seeing it now.Cause I'm trouble,if you only had small troubles then your troubles just doubled,I aim to please I ain't no sleaze, but it maybe me I'm aiming to please and it ain't gonna be easy for me to please me,without a little help from you,don't sweat it cause I think you know what to do,you won't regret it even if you think it one time through.Cause I'm trouble see,and trouble usually starts with me.And now I see you and you see me,and it all started when you pulled me in with that endless awesome grin...

Oh

Ever been stuck in the mudd,I mean really stuck the quicker you try to get out the longer it takes. Panic resistance, newtons laws kicking your ass too.Finally calm slow steady movements then then pop your out no prob,think if I stick my foot back in I can get right back out again thinking I know how now so I do ,and I can't and now add pissed to the heroic effort learned almost nothing feeling stupid finally it takes even longer then pop, still confusion how many more times will I try Well I'm on my fifth time Its fun ,I'm exausted and ain't learned a friggin thing hahaha.

Lover

I cut my spaghetti with a machete in the ghetto I liked it with oregano I shared it with a widow I used to know then finally she told me where to go to get some hard garlic rolls ,ha gotcha ,her name was Rapunzel she was great fun so I continued to see her, she only had one fear that she may move out of there and live in the boondocks where they didn't need door locks and there were no city blocks where she could take her silly walks to go buy her spaghetti so she could have it ready when her baby came by......

straight polar

One side of my brain doesn't play well with the other

yes

LOve is love,love is free

I was obsessed I didn't notice I had enough passion for the both of us,I never notice how you'd fuss.......I cut my spaghetti with a machete in the ghetto I liked it with oregano I shared it with a widow I used to know then finally she told me where to go to get some hard garlic rolls

Thnx

Standing by ready to go get the feeling somethings gonna happen maybe I already know waiting get the inkling of a sensation I feel some strange phenomenon has just completed its gestation soon to be born now newly known some extreme change in reality some unwelcome event with no known hospitality I'm sure I feel it then suddenly with all the fanfare and fury out of nowhere pow wow bang absolutely nothing didn't even spill a glass of water squat,Relief is such a disappointment be thankful for your boredom...

oh well

Thats funny I thought I knew everything I guess I was wrong what will I do now how will I adapt survive deal with all this crap it used to be so easy for me now I just like all the rest no more answers to so many simple questions that now fester in my head am I welcome do I now belong with the lost lonely and confused can I win when I'm sure I should lose here I am I'm here to stay need I say this is the last the best the only way

Your smile thats so permanent could start a war the strength of a secret hair maybe you have heard it before.but your so young maybe not,its all true no matter what you do your the cause and the reason that smile never out of season maybe another reason that keeps me believing that this is what I'm living for

compete complete

These inbred weaknesses divulge your insecurities obscurities obscenities which were bred originally for durability which I'm sure wholeheartedly was reportedly obliged to share with me beat that bitches...

oz

I am like OZ just a little old man behind a curtain,a curtain of bullshit

Myself

I feel your presence I create it in my mind i seldom need to search for you your spirit is easy to find when i am lonely and need a friend it seems always thats when its easiest to feel you back again you come on no uncertain terms there is never any disagreement not yet a disappointment quickly you are there you seem to always care for me an what I'm doing you keep me from ruin you help me I can't thank you enough even though your just in my mind your always there for me and I too am always there for you...

It started as a game wishful thinking it ended just the same wishful thinking

der

Round two another year rambling singing beer drinking hanging out friend making fishing golfing bitching fresh linen.New beginning ,hell no old ending hell no, continuation most likely keep going excitedly riding thinking flying exploring sure ,hoping nah accepting,whatever.Round two whatever will do, love it all take it all on another year gone another three minute love song,its all right if it ain't wrong,oh well what the hell here we go and go and go...

The new church

Come come follow me the new church of the crossed T .There are no rules just avoid the fools play it cool wipe off the drool with a napkin not a sleeve.Mostly listen when your friends are bitchen shut off the lights when you leave the kitchen don't pull the gun when the enemy is on the run and always act like your just having fun Any more thoughts share what you got send them to me the leader of the new church of the crossed T

the riser

It is now the third day ,and once again I have risen,I will take this opportunity again to start another new religion where all shall pray to me and ah mm coconuts trees stay tuned for further instructions,remember don't pray for me,pray to me...

sob

arrogant sob

It is the third day ,again I rise shall rise like the good old days when men were in charge, but now women rule and men are left to play the fool but we do not care cause they are always there to take the blame to share the shame to profess sanctity in the mothers name thats so damn cool.Go on be strong sing your silly love song cause I love it and it loves me,I'm free so damn free,what rhymes with glee if your not with me then your against me.I love you and I love you and I love you ,and you know you aught to love me too, be free to sing together in harmony you all love me and your not alone,wouldn't you expect this, to not be alone, cause you see this is me the most considerate male in history, just ask me, and ask them all ,if I thought it was not right I did not give them a call.I could have, maybe I should have fucked them all, I did not I was considerate ,I was arrogant I thought I cared did I have regrets, I should have taken bets on what happiness was I was not aware of these needs just because I cared I was afraid How many more times I should have been laid I guess maybe I was just an insult to the girls that did result in hard feelings lost greetings and disguised feelings I did, I still do,love you all,watch me fall...

Just maybe

Why do you choose to preach what you can't prove ?why do you choose to stay when you can move you have a chance to win and yet you choose to lose,why the same mistakes and jumped conclusions all is not always lost in the mass confusion.Is it comfort ,is it fear?Is it a lack of inspiration that keeps you here do you,will you, should you answer yourself ?Maybe just leave it in an envelope and put it on a shelf for eternity or put a return address on it and return it to me.I will open and read it for you then you may ask me what it is you want to do for you,if you hear you through me then maybe you'll see and then believe that you can change you into someone you'd want to talk too,show me that letter...

yo g

Ghosts I see them even more lately alway so quick and vague,out of the corner of my eye,they move and are gone.They have no faces its just traces of their presence just letting you know that they never let go of the past when they were real,when they could live and breathe and feel,now they're just an emotion seeking a living devotion that will keep them feeing alive in somebodies life,
have you seen them?They are there calling to you do not be afraid.Accept them let them inspire and guide you to often do the best things you are able to do...

Blink

I chant your name I sing your name,so sweet more beautiful than a flower in summer soothing me inspiring me, like few others , has now a hold on me total sensual control of me ,I excitedly await the next command the next intimate demand,I shall respond it will not take long can't risk losing the moment or you may be gone ,I shall respond...

da

Let me check my credit score contribute to my 401k let me gift wrap my cash and just give it away to the con man who runs the best scam or maybe some insurance to ensure I don't become rich in any monetary way muscle up people....

pour you

You'll miss me you wretched bastards now your minds shall wilt without proper stimulation they'll turn to silt,you will not progress your riddled with guilt water shall be your only friend you may dunk your head to hide your shame hold your breath whats in a name,we've been all through this you'll never survive you have only one chance at a happier life and you'll mess that up too you'll wander aimlessly not knowing what to do I failed to teach you more to ensure your success moderate living at the very best good luck to you anyway go live in a field smoke some beer to help you deal with the drudgery that is your new way of strife amf you now low life........

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My eyes well with tears the time has come and i'm full of fear I did not expect this this late in the game There is no more time my plans I won't change I fuel the rocket connect the wires for the detonation there is no check I'll just do my best then flip the switch I'll cry my last cry drink my last beer think my last thought then scream ready or not and fucking blast out of here and now the real final count down from six to five then four at last three then two and now one done no more me its been fun................................................................................................................................................

next

Sad to report that earlier today our only true intellectual teri 2 did in fact blow himself away.As for blowing brains out ,although the skull was violently blown open no actual brains were found at the scene.Their was a brain like substance but the lab later reported it was merely butterscotch pudding the deceased's favorite flavor ,also noted there was pudding discovered around the genital area.This remains a mystery.Any donations may be made to the butterscotch foundation for homeless sluts,in teri 's behalf.Homicide has not been ruled out,definitely foul play was involved.

no.3

I'm not the winner I did not win I choked when the moment was right but I gave it hell it was a helluva fight I'm not embarrassed a little jealous maybe or not I guess I may have forgot or don't care win or lose all is fair get on with it it was all fun interesting cured the mundane brought light into the game "the winners are the losers and the losers are the winners"life will never be the same...

last call

Say your goodbyes before I close my eyes last chance make it brief before I claim my relief for this moment I have always longed, say it today for tomorrow I will be gone, get in line or just move along no calls from the governor no last minute delays say what you will cause today is my last day ,drink up people...

seasoning

Sippin soda not sweet tea the heat of the summer the way it used to be popcycles melting sticky hands smelly feet burning sands sea weed horse flies kids yelling and baby cries wind blowing sand in your eyes mmm feel the heat love the burn almost September surf will return then the fall the end of it all indian summer bummer back to the cave to be a slave to heavy coats and doting gloats so long heat of summer hello winter grave

should

Its splendid ,its inviting the way you keep delighting me exciting me reminding me of the way things ought to be,smooth sailing and trouble free

tick

Well well the road was long the future is gone hope has no use for me now.Lived this long whatever went wrong will soon be gone and forgotten.Lost old ways changed for good they never should have been changed but the future is in control even when things seem out of control ,contentment was my only goal now its all lost in the haze, contentment will be mine soon in just two more days

unsure

smoking dope is no guarantee, into the future you will see ,not for inspiration,insight or what it takes to be free ,maybe no poetry no brilliant conundrums just ho hum and may I have some?Wonder where my life went not really sure if there were any before regrets not sure if there are any now don't really want to know I'll get by somehow.

till

Maybe I lost count definitely don't care spent most of my life living in fear of success failure living in a trailer walking the tracks stepping on cracks fear of the future fear of the past fear of right and wrong staying the same and moving along its three days I think maybe you know the number of days I have left to go lets call it three till I'm finally free just three more days...

staring at these all walls if I don't initiate something nothing is going to happen at all excuse me while I go initiate

role

stay tuned for the updated list of people I currently hate I semi alphabetical and intensity mixed order

roll

the happy countdowns are all done now there remains only the one, the happiest one

on schedule

Some tension definitely some excitement coming my way total enlightenment new reasons keep coming growing ,overflowing my cup my chalice my mind,there no turning back,no wavering no signs of weakness creeping in,or seeping in no evidence of any kind.Target date still on course,no recourse of sorts a seemingly unstoppable force, still know where I'm going cause I lost my way even keel course in just four more days...

on

I assume this to shall pass I will post and post till this page just moves on down and then goes away

next

Oh I get it ,you were just teasing funning and squeezing the life out of me just to see if I would laugh.Yes I laughed now we'll have no more of that,shall we.

Respect

I love the dark,I live in the dark there is no fear in the darkness ,ignorance is bliss,ignorance is a blessing I only wish it were non elusive I would pursue it with all my heart.Don't shine your light on me don't look for me, let me live in the shadows with my eyes to the ground oblivious to goodness or badness that occurs all around,darkness and I see eye to eye a mutual respect minimizing regrets never expecting to expect change of any sort never sharing secrets never completing a report of any type of value or significance,showing no signs of resistance to no one for no reasons for no fun.Look away close your eyes for I too shall do the same then realize there's no need for shame...

sixless

Now in this continuation of perfect self gratification I say to you with little hesitation I shall bring on to me with agnostic justification the skull splitting damnation of my life ending expression of poetic justice I've lost my way working on creative capital punishment in a just 6 more days....

Italian

Though not a fan your name is opera to me,flowing strong possibly some dramatic story .Large breasted women with strong opinions singing about the trials they've been given and the everyday triumphs soon to follow.I too shall sing to you about trivial things.We shall do an opera together about nothing but whether or not we shall sing together and the joy that it may bring...

fly

Today my real baby is really going away,I see her bags all packed new shoes and a new do a new way of life an a new attitude,like all things you know that its coming but it doesn't help with the bumming your pretty sure its the right thing probably a good thing better than doing nothing.So give me a call keep in touch maybe I'll see you on line some of the time,I'll miss you so much,I'm sure you'll be fine,it will all become normal just give me some time

7 days

My resistance is non existent my tolerance has vanished I am weakened beyond belief I have sustained to much damage to my brain you win I give in no need to begin its over ,I said you win I give in no need to begin its over,listen to me!

keys

The dirty qwerty keyboard I misunderstood used it for evil never for good I did the best that I could I wrote things that I never should have wrote about people and things I didn't even know about should not have shared trying to make people scared cut them down I never really cared you dirty qwerty bastard...

turn

Sure things were great when I was your saint and slave to your needs and gave you everything now you walk away thats ok cause I did not care for the pay anyway, so just keep walking I go the other way

wilting

Its still exciting that warm and inviting feeling that I'm I'm aware of just getting my fair share of satisfaction when I check out the action on my new Smith and Wesson filling the chambers soon they'll be embers and there will be three remainders they will be confirmed by forensics that the fatal wound was self induced from a hopeless fool left on the loose just eight more days...

done

Ignore to bore me maybe I will go away kudo to you though you just had to say please and I would have been gone I heard the rumor on a light breeze so now I'll put your mind at ease and I'll quietly drift away

Non reality

Yes I know your creating a castle out of a mountain of snow.But snow gets dirty and shrinks,gets pissed on then stinks,eventually gets frozen and ugly,and when it becomes unwanted it just won't go away

de'j'avu

During all this confusion,I thought I could bring in a substitution I was under the delusion that I only lusted you.Now I feel the pain swelling when I hear or even think your name Your gone I long for that sweet song that eased me along again I was wrong I was wrong again

d

During all this confusion I thought I could bring in a substitution I was under the delusion that I only lusted you,now I feel the pain when I hear or think your name

stuff

my confirmed misinterpretation at long last I had won the love that never was may never really be

no one

no one hears my cries they all have airtight alibis no one accepts any consideration for my demise

9 days

I can't decide why they call it suicide its not self loathing or always self pity often times one is just tired of feeling shitty.No regrets no real shame just ease back the trigger and end the living game.There may be a moment of then shame as I release the pain I tell you you shall never be the same.I shall never be the same.

whisp

Sometimes I feel it,its quite exhilarating, feeling a burn, a sensation momentary inspiration I try to capture I try to understand it I know how to enjoy it then pathetically poetically I try to explain it share it un-contain it.Of course its now gone there is no memory of it.It does not really exist it yet another ghost to which my being plays host then i preview and post and tries to share with me its innermost stories feeling lies tempting tales making me wise pushing to share hope fantasies and wishes displacing despair.I look for it I wait for it I expect it still I'm often surprised when it catches me distracted just living my lives,thinking of some ways of fooling amusing and confusing you and maybe,just maybe,entertaining you guys

do you know

There was a young hippo named Brutus. One day we needed help getting back to shore because our canoe over turned,we called to Brutus to help us but Brutus was clueless and so he ate us.Beware of Brutus...

thats all folks!!!

delusional

I have created this brilliant scenario in my mind,of course none of its true.It is a great tower which out can see all things clearly from.All emotions are easily understood all reasons make perfect sense and all stories are true.Happy exciting beautiful stories.All about me and how amazing I am.I created this tower and it shall never fall.If it did it would be a tragedy in my mind.For now the tower stands tall and I am looking at you...

you

I'm always in outer space with you,I never know if I'm in first ,fifth or last place with you. You lead me, bead me, tease me and when I'm hungry you feed me,I know you don't need me but it was you who planted the seed in me,guess what the seed grew thats why I need you to feed me ,to weed me, to believe me in what ever I say or do cause always you know I'm there for you .If you need to yell then that just swell then tell me to go to hell I'll go along I'm always there I'm never gone I'm always there I'm never really gone.

broke

The driving force of my insanity has been curbed by a variation in my reality a hesitation of the pursuit of unobtainable recreation now lacking the key aspect of desperation a bump in the road a curve a bend no time left to borrow no ear left to lend I assume one will rejuvenate return to vacant reality where one has no need to hesitate to resume ones presumed fate I guess I'll just have to wait and wait and wait

I've been ditched ,dismissed,cast out thrown about asked to leave given no reprieve

thanks

suns coming up minds shutting down readers awaking now I'm waiting watching the count my anticipation begins to mount whats the score first on line bobby orr easy score number two not quite sure then three jumps to ten maybe more another day where this going don't matter cause I love it count is growing me not ever knowing but the bullshit keeps flowing peace out

woh

I'm impressed by your awareness uncommon mostly accurate my secrets are yours to dispel my slight of hand plain to see my imaginary plan taken gently from me I am simplified humbled my toughest shell crumbled in your palm my crazy excitement turned to dead calm should I thank you or spank you or maybe kiss you then I'll gain or possibly maintain some defensive offensive control over you this is not a game cause then I could quit or have some strategy to resist it no no not a game at all still am impressed at making your acquaintance you thus far are the best

such

the drone of your voice leaves me no choice but to choose to follow you and in your madness in all of your badness i will only seek gladness i know its senseless this endless relentless game which keeps me vane secretly worshiping your name wanting wanting never any closer never gone away create new diversions seeking fruitless excursions thinking everyday what more visions of lost confusions inching me away your way away

us

We all are a Frankenstein none of us came in this world this fucked up

run

freedom of choice the way it was meant to be no ropes no chains all my own mistakes the cause of my own pain I take most the credit for the loss of the gain I had a fair shot to get into the game never surrendered never backed down accepted the fear that made me go around the obstacles the ridicule the letdowns the setbacks the tentacles that held me the sad frowns and the big macs I am partly a creature of my own design happy go lucky at least in my mind which is where I live anyway cause thats where you'll find me come and see come and see

Well I been getting into the whole exercise thing walking running biking thigh master.I believe I could now crack walnuts between my buns,so I decided to try,I'm not yet sure if I can because I keep losing the walnuts.

Then

Impartial to whatever it is that wears on your soul.Thoughtful thoughtlessness seemingly the goal.Just remain aware that there is no truth to fear,for in truth there is understanding and eventual acceptance.Thou one shall remain impartial and restrain ones outward thoughts of sensible tolerable behavior this amuses me,you misled me but did not abuse me,you will surely admit it when you set me free it will be then when I thank thee.

someday

Can you feel it fading?Can you see it disintegrating?You rode the great steed for very long,but alas all must eventually rest feed,and be patient to again become strong.Maybe one last time,hop back on that steed and feel the ever growing need to ride free, seek adventure, attempt to succeed.One day the steed shall go unnoticed perhaps just wander away.I may walk him to the field where he shall run no more.

angles

The tide is receding,the seasons are again changing,there is little progress,its just regress to another known state,another known state of mind.Its usually sadness, always a well known place to go.Its simple,there are no rules really.You always feel welcome.But I think this year I won't go.I decided I'll stay home,I won't let my spirit roam,I shall keep it for me here safe and happy at this also known home.This home of summer,simpler less complicated,far more interesting and fun.Still the season will change and the feelings I may try to sustain,keep it simple,try to maintain,try to maintain.

sofl

as i glance into the night sky the tropical clouds floating by and the sweltering heat calming my mind this is my home this is where i belong for this I have always longed did not know cause I did not know I now know won't leave won't go change is coming it is the cyclic time every time not the location but the relevance of a new situation watch out its coming my nose I'll be thumbing my adversaries may be bumming the rats will be running I'll lead them all to the dump there I'll ditch the chump

August

Smells like summer,a garbage truck achieves a level of stench you tried to forget.salt at the beach and that seaweed dried and burnt.The heat and the sand achieves a certain quiet almost like a fresh snow,a few children's voices muted but audible,and of course a radio.Then the waves small steady come in then slowly recede a calming sound,a cold sound steady,not really comforting just there.Surely at the beach you learned why they call it a sandwich.The smell of baby oil and iodine nobody really knows why.Even now you laugh but totally deny.I would sit a bit but not long,got to walk,down to the tidal pools watch the baby fools chasing the starfish,now they're really cool.Crushing periwinkles with ancient stones.Tiny fish and other creatures unknown.Then a mothers yell,time to go home.Grab a last shell,multi skip one more magically flat stone.Put on your sandy sandals.Head to the car.A tremendously successful day,No time wasted ,and now you sadly drive away.

Air

Yet another brother is gone,lost his life just living it riding along,another moment gone thinking clear not thinking fear just eight hours more he should of been there ,to this days destination expecting some relaxation an upstanding member of his generation.I never knew him but i have heard good things.Many charities for children and other curios things.So long I hope your soul rides on.Still doing good things I ll wait for your bell to ring.

africa

It felt like the womb of the earth the womb of the universe.the heat the light and the life,the fear that excites.They say there, when the sun comes up you better start running.They smile when they say it,but they ain't just funning.So everyday I got up from where I lay and I started running,hoping it was the right way.The birthplace of humankind.Somehow you feel it,a psychic connection a spiritual recollection of where it all began.The land where the first man ran.We're still running still wondering still migrating and searching still funning!

Vane

Sickness madness insanity extremity this piece for you,this power,this ghost this timeless sign.May it forever haunt you,taunt you a symbol a sign of what I want for you.Share it be aware of it.It is for you,it is you.

You will

Your gonna you might you better miss me when I'm gone,I know i was a pain my loss was never your gain.I always kept it simple,always said it plain.I was annoying I'll admit I kept on you till you got the gist of it till you were sick of it.That why may be the only reason why your gonna miss me when I'm gone.You don't need me ,you never did not the point not the reason I only suggested something to believe in.Nothing to request just some concepts to maybe invest in even if they failed they would have been interesting.Amusing perplexing.Oh yea your gonna miss this point of view always sharing whats on my mind even when Its not about you till you were bored you knew I was absurd after all you have certainly heard,every bad joke every weak ass poke,then watched me choke in what I do in what I said still even still you'll miss me when I'm dead.

Why

It was not really a great day, though it was a fun day.Shopping and lunch did not cost too much.An easy day ,was no need to rush.Then to the county park,where there were families fishing,with children dripping,and screaming,little smiles beaming.Then home ,a snack,a sit on the patio.Just what sunday should be.But for some strange reason,I couldn't hear what I was believing,what was the question of the day,of my life,what have you done for me lately.

Dance

The way you move keeps me confused,always in time ,all the time.it is a pantomime that rules, what I think or feel,I can't know if its real.Back and forth its such a force simple and slow steady spiritual flow,I grasp it and it grasps me steadfast tightly a force of nature to be sure.Constricting like a great snake I am consumed, helpless wide eyed waiting to die,not wondering why, barely a question ,still no reply.Move again that rhythmic time,that which totally consumes me, rules me, took control of my mind and my soul.

Thanks

Did not search would not search,always do find,so many,so kind.Thoughtful,nice,got the going rate at a reasonable price.Always lucky ,I like it that way,seen so many good things heading my way.I recognize them, always welcome to me.Sometimes not at first, the reasons clear, usually later simple to accept,obviously not carelessly.Usually come sparingly,thou continually,not too rare to see.Nice.

tjohn 1:12

When you fish in shallow water ,you usually only meet shallow fish.

Saddness

Its choking my throat Its burning my eyes,I cannot deny it I can't hide it,It brings on a certain shyness,not shame,admission of feelings not a mans favorite game.Helplessness bundled with fear,submission admission to future depression, just self pity really,a natural obsession.

I thought so

The past is a present you receive in the future

I'd

I always believed it,I never believed it I at long last have passed away. It was not quick it was not sudden, for all my life I saw it coming.When it came I was not stunned I lived my whole life, I experienced some fun.Looking forward to crossing over theres restfulness awaiting me.Sure I died young,we all die young ,it is a short exciting life its just sadness when we go,but my soul and my spirit I'm sure you can still feel it ,will always linger on.Be strong be brave ,it is only carbon and dna that they lay to rest in my grave.Im crossing now I'm with you I'm gone au revoir, so long.

rapp

Coast to coast,east coast west coast blog em all give em a toast

Help desk?

hmmhmmmhmm,do do do doyayaya,hm hm hm,hm,hm,hm,lalalololo,hmhmhm,talk amongst yourselfs,hmhmhm mmmm please stay on the line your phone call as well as your life means absolutely nothing to us,hm,hm,hmdo,dee ,do,dododo la,la,laplease hold your being transferred,goodbye!

Everywhere

Oh you spatter me with flattery like a machine gun rat tat tatter me,the smokes so thick I can't even see,so shoot me again I can take it my friend,gladly madly frantically steadily...

Change

I used to live there I dont live there any more.I used to go there, I don't go there anymore I used to know you,I don't know you anymore.I used to care about things,I don't care anymore.There used to be reasons to smile there are,reasons no more.I searched for ideas and ideals the search has grown old.I don't search anymore.I've found it, I live it I believe it.Its called acceptance.It is my new home,my new way of life my new style.Its so beautiful.I don't try to change anyone or anything,cause I now know that change always comes.Change always brings new things,some good some bad.Cannot alter it.Cannot slow it speed it,can only heed it.It always comes.

Opinions

Fortunately theres no definition of friendship .Relationship is just an opinion,maybe an opinion given during hardship.Nothing lasts forever its all true whether or not you believe.I can see,I've seen and I'm free.I of course do have an opinion of you.No definition,vague recognition, constant submission to the evolving condition that ties me to you. Its interesting to me, any opinion of this association ,nothing in moderation dynamic intense all forward motion,zero defense.Time is my defense unstoppable impenetrable,completely dependable.Let us move on just enjoy this unstoppable train,this opinionated interaction based on each others daily reaction to what may or may not happen,during this daily game.I love it.I need it .I want it.

Friends

Every time I see you I learn something nearly amazing, always interesting and slightly new.Each time seems a new reason for believing trusting and emotionally supporting you.I've learned how you've paid your dues and the many things you've battled through.I discover simple little things why you act the way you do.Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to get through.I have a different respect now for you,learning of past things that were chosen for you too.So thank you.Thank you for sharing, for caring about what I think,for inspiring me to dramatize it in ink.So never feel your on the brink of despair,alone,without an emotional home where you can rest regroup return to the game and try to play your best.So I guess I'll see you later when my knowledge love and respect for you will again become oddly enough,even greater...

Help

My brain is bleeding words you keep reading nobody is needing this.Band-aid ?Anyone?

current see

It costs to capture it costs to keep it costs to kill dont confuse victory for defeat time is money,money is not time

MOI ?

Don't know if how or when I'll ever fit in I'm nearing the end and I don't yet know where to begin.Always been a mystery to me,me.Certainly a curiosity,a lifelong novelty All riddles,held my own interest all these years, no closer to the answer since the first question when I was little.Still a tad, curios still not envious occasionally a little furious.Minor fear ,a little less care still fun to still run from delusional fantasies simple realities minor complexities that keep me at the extremities of normal abnormalities.

Hey

Its been so long I thought you were gone for good or better theres been a lot of weather or not you meant to lose me on the run from the past that we came from.A momentary laugh a wound in my side from a gaff somehow got away without a scratch the perfect match went up in flame end that game couldn't give it a name of a place we stayed we played we faded away.

Intent

The spiders web the strongest strand in nature yet mostly unseen.almost seems obscene the power the intent it is also a sign that the victim has run out of time.At first there is excitement then panic then reality becomes frantic,eventual submission then relaxation now death.When that first strand takes hold you know its time to fold.

Middle Man

I fund the wars I feed the whores I insure the poor, I am the question of whats that for,But if I look the wrong way,if I complain,I'll be buried in the shit like I'm from the bottom of the pit,I'm just a little sick of it.I'm middle class,middle age middle minded,to old for rage.I'm the middle man on the middle page forever prisoner in the middle cage.Too old to run,no desire to kill only know how to get my fill of crap and loss,I cover any cost for anybody and everything.I can no longer sustain the painful mundane existence without any resistance.just a plan to take a stand and speak my piece while I still can.Then I'll sit back down and wallow in the shit thats still all around.Tired of living mediocrity living a hypocracy you don't know me,endurance perseverance never a move without proper clearance.Just one time just one rhyme ,just say no, stop the flow and then tell them all where to go just one time...

hot chick

I'm left here greivin my first born is maybe leavin flying off to scale the wall I wont be there to catch her or even break the fall all I can do is wait for the call hear things are good and she gone for good for better I hope I'm pretty sure I did do all I could to teach her I preached at her just ask her when you see her at last shes free to be exactly what she needs to be

quiet

move very slow keep your head down dont attract attention things are going ok or are going to be ok

wrong

I write at night cause writing in the day just don't seem right

bummed

a half a tear a half a beer a half a care must be all the way there

We

a small ball like creature hiding in a hole smooth facial features the animal is the human soul featureless vulnerable and old full of energy but oh so cold.Can not kill it,just frighten it away it wanders on forever searching for the light that will make it seem alright for it to stop fighting and just melt away

just curios

Lost for words don't know what to do making up answers to questions I don't understand biding my time wading through so much bullshit answering the demands.Dodging bullets deflecting insults that get no results from me defending you.Trying wondering flying was not accused of denying my spirit's not dying have some more time just hoping to please you.Make a decision blame me for the incision bleed on me cover my face with your tragic blood you i'll always love never will hold that grudge that saps my last strength trying to understand you.

does matter

the cross section of a molecule is an unstable piece of matter it doesnt matter the orientation it will never survive one needs two to survive as one

dah

Lacking intelligence only improves my opinion of you

Little

I dont expect what I want but I do expect what I'll settle for!!!

Time

Still hooked ain't puttin up a fight ,being drug along enjoying the ride, washed away the pride on the way I feel ok, its all a little crazy been workin my way through a maze making very little headway didn't look both ways didnt walk away stayed to the right anyway diversion dispersion avoided the right of way guess i did not notice anyway.

justice

Just me just you just the good memories that get us through.Half left ,all gone one last verse to that unfinished song.All now is right ,nothing left to go wrong.Over and done it was a helluva run no bad times just bad rhymes tbd just one of one of a kind no one left behind...

MJ

His eccentricity is what truly impressed me.Mostly he was true to his level of difference and revel ency.Outlandish well beyond the norm.Anger and arrogance ,true to the truest form.In life a captive soul,and in death granted the freedom to roam.Missed by many.Dismissed by some,eventually we become the product of what we come from.

words

Without a question I have questions,without hesitation I wait.Clearly I'm confused,I must suffer from a simple complex.

whoa

I thought you were hugging me hello,I guess I just didn't want to know you were really saying goodbye leaving me to sigh letting me go.Others there kept asking why,I knew it wasn't forever still I was surprised.I didn't take the time to look deep into your eyes as we truly said goodbye.It was brief,it was sweet,you to were interestingly complete.Your reflection blinding, your soul astounding, your strength reminding me,of another time when I also was young and strong and free.Now are left only more memories that I keep locked away to never reveal.Comforting and teasing me, saddening me and freeing,my soul that too has grown too old,I'm sure I will see you once again when I shall then look into your soul ,deep in yours eyes it is then we will finally say goodbye.

oxy

Thoughtless contemplation ,calming aggravation, confined freedom suppressed expressions of a well known revelation, enjoy the experience, survive your life rewrite your lies,before its to late set a new date to screw your head on straight.Don't die leaving a why, cause then its too late to cry,set the date don't hesitate,its routine enthusiasm mundane excitement,same old enlightenment in a new movie.

Patience

Tempted to, wanted to, need to do whatever it takes to make it new.To entice you. To create not reinvent wondered where the wonder went, close my eyes it may come to me, careful though not to let it free ,when I know I'll share with you the show, you and me then will see the middle of the journey to resume the quest for destiny.Now I close my eyes and wait to see and wait to see...

dui

Why did mommy have to die,why did mommy drink and drive?I just lie here crying on the floor cause mommies not around to hug me anymore.why did mommy have to die,why mommy why?You would leave me with grandma,but then you always came home.You brought me presents I never felt alone.Now no more presents only past, never a future,I miss you mommy,I hate you mommy.You hated me too.

chin

When it comes to love,leave your emotions out of it

laugh

Dude im 47,what you call a flaw I call the second course

LA

Baby mamas has gone away found herself sneaking to L A.Gonna say cheese to a passed away Mj

just today

Happy holiday you flew away you tempted me I chose the low road stay unknown I gave away my wings I've seldom flown my weakest strength still unknown ,to you not to me I've known a long time .I won't gloat I hide my shine so little time that remains Its ok all is fair in love all is fair. Not lost interest not lost care.I walk naked among you,you cant see because I'm not really there I'm somewhere near here.Hiding secretly behind my fear.Seldom soon exposed my life my worries my woes.My friends my lovers my foes.

whats up?

My IQ,my weight,my blood pressure,my anxiety,my handicap,my 401k,my penis,my flag,my guard,my spirits,my picture,my credit,my hopes,my testosterone level,my debt,my time.Other than that nothing.Whats up with you)

bout time

I have said too much I believe I've stayed too long I guess its time to be getting on.so long.

444

Today I had a dream about an old love an old flame,so real, so right, so refreshing.Made me feel warm,longing sadly happy,then I awoke and she was gone.The un nightmare .Periodically our souls secretly collide ,to refresh and rekindle what still resides inside.But now get up, get over,get back in the game.Good for another stretch of time.All maybe fine,that warm feeling remains.

Hmmm

Took the old path through the brush.Its mostly grown over,don't use it so much,any more.Along a small canal thick with grass about waist deep,ask me how I know.Muskrat holes along the shores,with amazing grass plug doors.Springtime patches of snow,low fog from breath and bog,barely rising in the still calm air.An amazing silence surrounds me there.Light my pipe moving quite slow,observing the sparrow birds pecking the snow.I'm am fifteen years old and I'm well aware,of these precious moments in which I share.Before I knew you,before you knew me.I try to emulate those times when I was content to just be.Continue on that overgrown path heading to the first hay field for nearly the last time.Pulling my traps done for the season moving along.No catch today,thats ok.just lovin my smoke cause I'm puffin away.Cross the first field on to the second field,won't be long and I'll be done for the day.Slow steady easy pace slightly crunchy snow.Its getting a little darker a little cooler now.A little less serene a little more lonely.Time to go.I turn I retreat the daylight is drifting away with the breeze.Crunch crunch jump the canal,finding the scarce path has grown scarcer in the darkness.I still know the way by smell and taste ,if not by sight.Soon breaking free of the trees and the whip branches that just love me.Short walk home feeling tired useful accomplished and alive.The days of my youth often ended as today with my siblings,warm Italian bread and my mothers amazing soup.

Silly

Just suddenly I laugh.Is it madness,quite possibly.I always thought it would happen to me.But its relaxing,suddenly I laugh suddenly I'm free.

I kid

Oh I get it ,it was a joke,a ridiculous sadistic non realistic poke me in the eye show me no mercy show me no hope kick me when I'm down tattoo on a frown spit in my face,lay me to waste till my families disgraced since I'm a hopeless case whos mind wanders all over the place no future kind of a joke.Huh funny!

Progress

One less destination I look for you no more one new destination now I knock upon your door no more chance meetings now just scheduled greetings is progress what I've been searching for I will never admit if I ever know

alive

I sit I wait I walk I pace I sit I wait I'm familiar with this place I keep a pace that helps me cope I sit I wait settle for nothing still for the best I hope I sit I wait I get a little satisfaction still I always want more thats my knee jerk reaction I sit I wait and wonder what the hell am I waiting for and still I sit I wait and wait and wait.

SUMMER

I love the smell of corn growin in the field,crisp and green and strongI love the feel of a tomato hangin on the vine hoping it may somehow become mine and knowing that its real,I love the taste of you lips interlocked with mine warm, smooth and telling,knowing how you feel,I love to give you a hug while I kiss you on the face,its the feeling of love believing there are only winners in this god forsaken race.The thrill of a cold ocean when we go to that secret place by the seagrass covered dunes,where we saw the nesting loons its new and old and real,its new its old and its real,a little new something that you somehow do reveal,just a little more than the less you always had concealed.Still new, still fresh ,still sharing the best,still concerned and caring,even with those regrets,keeping me restless yet completely at ease my head and face are calm yes I still tremble at the knees in anticipation of the next subtle revelation that keeps me beggin' please...