No people it was bound to happen its underground for me the pressure the anxiety lose the name the address the id lose me morph into the unknown run ride and hide tunnel to a new day into the shadows ,into the night back to the woods the hills the sills of the rivers restful sounds calming numbing clear the mind cleanse the soul embrace to deny  just let it all go...

just this time

came so close this time so close had some time to unwind barely saw how tight the line had become feeling a little tired feeling I had just had some time on my hands could barely understand the latest development in the latest brand have been recently labeled as a psychotic man

So long

Its alway unexpected out of the blue still here I am with you so many twists and turns so many tists and burns laughter only gets me down ,thats not meant to be cliche' or to demand a frown its always the way,before I get around,I love you,one two three,love is not a big deal just a little something something between you and me,the smell of death the smell of life down to the water its always right to be wrong about somethings as long as you tried,found that little something special that lingered inside your soul like when you smoked a bowl but now your to old so you lash out and give a partial shout about what life's all about,still you don't give a crap and its all a backhanded slap in your fucking face your still in the race to nowhere where no one wins and you wish it was the beginning thou you forget where you've been,you will come out ahead in the end,which will tie you for last still it was a blast,get over it ,you win...

you stand before me yet I ignore you you shared nothing but lies and speculations,I am ashamed to know you so deeply please just go away from me...

Still I guess,still gasping ,a rope around my neck,nervous and anxious almost exciting,wait for the tug ,a gentle pull yet fearing the tightening expecting the worst,it tightens quickly and may take weeks to ease up theres certain to be burns scars obvious reminders of where I've been,I do not try to hide these marks they are just a fact of life and proof that I've lived,still they are there,life is a whim brief sad thou still enormously enjoyable,frantic seldom without questions continual emotion the only constant,always an opinion self comforting pretend understanding,it works it can't not work or I will become extinct ... 

Corny ,ya I like corny,funny sure that will do to,happy endings how cliche'  but you know I wouldn't have it any other way,

It happened all of a sudden ,realization is like finding an exit in the rear of the building,suddenly ,you want out,nobody walks past the exit to the alleyway,its always an easier escape,well hidden you'll be long gone before anybody even misses you,like the sudden exit, realization comes with little time to seek drastic solutions,and often hasty conclusions to lifelong situations,always we take the exit without thought or hesitation,but at least we feel a sudden freedom which of course demands a new responsibility you are now more accountable for your actions,no longer is ignorance your friend and constant companion,that permanent crutch,thou seemed helpful obviously slowed you down,At last that much needed backhanded bitch slap that put you back on the map and let you climb to the top of a heap of smoldering crap that is you life...

Got pulled over yesterday,but he let me go after I told him 50 was the new forty

"Wanna pack your bags, something small. Take what you need and we disappear. Without a trace we'll be gone, gone. The moon and the stars can follow the car, and then when we get to the ocean. We're gonna take a boat to the end of the world, all the way to the end of the world."My bag is packed I have been ready all the while,since we first met,One bag always at the ready,a small stash of cash,but now I'm nervous the fantasy and dream is about to become extinct,the bag will be new no more,even thou this is what I have been waiting for,suddenly I'm not completely sure,I wooed you primped and pleaded with you,so many small bribes, hints and suggestions along the way,now I hesitate I'm stunned confused weak in the stomach I can not believe Its happening this way,still my bag is ready and I will chance change wander off to a new life with you,we have already destroyed our old lives,it can never be the same,the ship is at the dock,it only comes once a month It leaves today...  

My voice is never heard only my words have been read not sure what has been lost threw the lines but it always keeps them on their toes not knowing what will come next its all just a game in this land of fortune and fame no one really to blame except their own city of pain.i have read the words back and had some cracks that have hurt my sides so lets keep it alive and you will thrive.With this thought I will revive my past expectations,attempt to relive,rethink the present,and revisit what used to be my dreams,that certain excitement that made me scream,I know what I am here for,I see my visions of grandeur,I have a purpose and I shall fulfill it,Summer has now passed,and hope is still in my grasp,with my hands around hopes throat I will choke it till it becomes reality...

The future is a present from the past...

Just a stray dog wandering the streets,not happy not sad just doing what his instincts tell him to do,looking for food in the back of restaurants digging in garbage  what ever it takes to survive just on instinct...

bitch

Just suddenly in the middle of the night,I want to splash in your bath I totally want to lick your face then bite your ass,I willingly deny my desire to be alone and free from responsibility,I am possessed  by this random obsession to break my tranquility,  I have no explanation there is no confession,reasons are for believing but I have none, evolution is the only explanation physical euphoria felt as spiritual state non linear emotions in sporadic rates like a sneeze sudden extreme erotic then passes then free,until the next wave the next crave of this knave,until then I'll just sit down and wait and well I guess,I'll just behave...

let's not waste another moment. Let's get lost in this embrace and adventure into oblivion. Close your eyes and hold on tight. Together we will find the right place,we'll determine the right pace to keep us interested in the present we will always deny the past thats just a secret between you and me certain intimacies that keep us free from the obvious struggles every day these only secrets we keep hidden away not ashamed to share but still aware that that the secrecy is part of the erotic spree that keeps us alive and proud to be, a part of this fantasy,so right so strong so far so long to each other so long for me...