conformity

soul searching,I'm not looking within it,I'm looking for it.It seemed t wander away when i was on holiday...holiday from my life, from what I felt was right,I became a dull knife.It all changed, I became estranged becoming enslaved is painfully deranged.Nothing from my past seemed the same.Now there are glimpses, faint recollections,still I search.I peer from my perch.Looking down, snooping around trying to rediscover what I had once held profound. Still its a journey, a quest, a loud lousy party where I'm the uninvited guest,I asked to leave but they denied my request.Yet I shall search on till I am laid to rest..